Then you either need a package manager (Windows users without Scoop or Chocolately are out, destroying portability) or you need to provide multiple binaries tha

Then you either need a package manager (Windows users without Scoop or Chocolately are out, destroying portability) or you need to provide multiple binaries that the user chooses for different platforms with the interpreter bundled as you said. But the availability of other options with tradeoffs doesn't answer my question as to why this method is just a bar trick. A Go binary or similar is an option, but it doesn't make other options mute.