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I've enjoyed the analogy so adding onto it: Google would open up 5 competing, different burger places next to each other and then close them all down a year la
by hiimshort 4y ago
I've enjoyed the analogy so adding onto it:
Google would open up 5 competing, different burger places next to each other and then close them all down a year later, confused that none of them did well enough. All to open a new Taco stand on the other side of town and claim it's got the same great food you liked before (it doesn't).
- jfim 4y agoThey'd also switch how one orders food every 18 months, and have them migrate to the new way of ordering food. Food ordering in gmail, food ordering as an app, food ordering using a kiosk, then back to an app, then merge it into the wallet app because why not.
- matt_heimer 4y agoAnd the food is delivered using an old-school automat format where you can see people on the other side but never talk to them if anything is wrong.
- EdwardDiego 4y agoThey'd start giving out a free family meal, which is a medium combo version of their corporate banquet pack, and they'll promise it's free forever. Then after 15 years, they'll, give you three months to upgrade, then five months, then after three months of pushback, they'll begrudgingly let you keep having the free family meal, so long as you promise you're not using it to cater for a business event.
- me_again 4y agoApple would sell exactly one kind of burger, which is great but costs $20. The wrapper is rose gold or space grey. Only Apple-certified condiments can be applied to the burgers, and a packet of ketchup is $5. Each year the faithful queue outside for the privilege of obtaining the latest burger.
- thorncorona 4y agoThe silver lining is if you pay for it it pretty much will always taste decent.
- recursive 4y agoUnless you like your burgers with barbecue sauce. That use case is bravely unsupported.
- kube-system 4y agoYou’re eating it wrong!
- mycentstoo 4y agoThey would also stop providing plates with the meal. They would be available for an additional charge.
- kube-system 4y agoWell, McDonalds did that like ~70 years ago. https://youtu.be/KultzqPJaJs?t=264 https://youtu.be/KultzqPJaJs?t=264
- gibolt 4y agoMicrosoft would license their burger recipe. All the licensees would sell unique, subpar versions. They'd also for some reason have a $10 billion contract to supply burgers to the military.
- caseyf7 4y agoand drinks would come in cans that require a special adapter but the adapters are so expensive you need to carry one around with you so you can drink when you’re thirsty.
- jallen_dot_dev 4y agoI would pay $20+ for a fantastic burger, especially if all other burgers made people sick.
- baobob 4y agoThe five wouldn't compete, one would sell buns, another patties and lettuce, one would have a door so confusing that nobody knows what it actually sold inside, another would sell burgers but advertise itself as something completely unrelated, and the final one would be an acquisition that immediately shut down for a complete rebuild while its staff are fired or reassigned to the other stores.
- akomtu 4y ago"Hey, As some of you know, we've been working hard on a complete redesign of BurGer, and we are happy to announce that it's ready! The new GerBug is square, with cheese and bun swapped places. All is this to give our customers a new great experience. Truly yours, the GerBur team."
- eastbound 4y agoAWS would provide one large kitchen in backstage for all of these people to cook. You’d be like “Well I could just buy the appliances” but regulations mandate a certain way of cooking with autocleanup of desks, that can only happen in the AWS kitchen, unless you want to hire dozens of workers to do menial tasks.