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> Unfortunatly, like NVC, arguing from compassion is really hard to fake. Agreed. > What really helps you to progress is to work on yourself (whatever is your
by BeetleB 4y ago
> Unfortunatly, like NVC, arguing from compassion is really hard to fake.
Agreed.
> What really helps you to progress is to work on yourself (whatever is your favorite tool, therapy, meditation, etc).
This, however, is very consistent with NVC. Not just with NVC but with most communications books - especially those involving difficult issues. These books focus more on figuring out what's inside of you than in the actual verbal communication. If you're upset/angry, the goal is to understand what is causing you to be angry and how you got there - why would you get angry and someone else wouldn't?
- BiteCode_dev 4y agoIndeed it's a better way to put it than my comment: it's not as important to note than faking it is hard, rather that really understanding it is something that goes deeper than an exchange of words. However, I would say that it's ok to start with just the words. There is a first step to everything.
- jimkleiber 4y agoI'd argue that often what's inside of us (at least in side of me) is a lot of verbal communication. Maybe you mean the verbal communication we do with others, yet I just wanted to say I think the language we use with ourselves is often the language we use with others. I've found that yes, working on how I talk to myself has helped how I talk to others. For example, I'm not an idiot when I make a mistake, I'm angry at a specific behavior I did. So I try to pay attention to how I speak to myself and how I speak to others, trying to learn from both. E.g., I just said "gosh, how stupid are you" to someone (or thought it), wait, how often do I say that to myself?