> Also, I have ADHD. This is probably relevant, but I haven't quite figured out how. not a minor detail. take some time to recharge and build anticipation for

> Also, I have ADHD. This is probably relevant, but I haven't quite figured out how. not a minor detail. take some time to recharge and build anticipation for your work. some things that help me a lot, in no particular order, which may or may not resonate with you: - get a therapist - get medicated - spend time meditating - make sure you're staying hydrated and eating healthy foods - stretch, try to exercise. if you can't exercise still stretch. if you can only exercise for 2 minutes, do that, if you can't at all, that's ok. still try to stretch - avoid telling yourself what you should or shouldn't do. keep things very optional and open. It's really easy to be compulsively telling yourself what you should be doing all day every day. I keep a "possibilities" list, and only add to it when i'm feeling overwhelmed like i need to do everything all at once. putting stuff onto the list makes me feel like i've made progress on it, even if i haven't -- which is fine, because the goal is to make sure I don't forget, to give it a bit of attention, but not distract or take over what i'm actually trying to accomplish - try to catch when you're telling yourself what you should do, and reframe it as something you could do, and how it might benefit you to do it - get some sunlight, or at least a happy light. it will help regulate hormones and your sleep cycle - practice sleep hygiene and get a healthy amount of sleep - take all of what you said, and say "...and that's ok" -- practice acceptance. you're working on improving your situation, even if it feels like you haven't. reaching out to HN like this is a big thing. - don't try to get out of the rut, just try to be at peace with yourself. the rut will pass, but fighting it will elongate it. - find and fix the small stressors in your life. small changes can make a big difference. - develop routines so you can spend more time on autopilot, or not have to worry about stuff - don't try to do too much at once. set small achievable incremental goals for yourself. your goal is to be doing better, however small of an increment that may be - > All I really look forward to these days is getting high I say this with absolutely no judgement: this is probably negatively impacting you. Something that helped me is switching to 20:1 cbd:thc vape cartridges. Maybe try with 5:1, then 10:1. This is also assuming it's legal where you are. The goal is to find ways to take care of yourself, honor your needs, and really nurse yourself to a better place. Many of the things are about taking care of the body -- the state of your body has a big impact on your state of mind. You'll get there