4 ms·

I may be unlucky, but I have met a number of people who are not just selfish or tribal but actively sadistic. They would do something that does not benefit them

I may be unlucky, but I have met a number of people who are not just selfish or tribal but actively sadistic. They would do something that does not benefit them if it meant discomfort and disadvantage for their outgroup. This is a little beyond just disinterest or lack of consideration, they actively prefer it. These are people who are constrained only by the rule of law, such as it is. One of the companies I worked for seemingly attracted this type of personality. Of the people like this I've met (and been actually very cautious around), maybe 90% worked at that specific company.

pstuart 4y ago
"The cruelty is the point" is very real. Hurts my heart.
- jimkleiber 4y ago
  yeah :-( I see it as "I'm hurting so much, I want you to also hurt." or "I want you to know the pain I feel." I think we underestimate how much other people are suffering (mostly because most cultures I know teach us not to cry) and feel our own pain, therefore inflicting pain on them to try to equalize it. I think an easier (and less pain-inducing) way is for us to just get better at sharing our suffering.
kmacdough 4y ago
I've found this tends to come from life experience suggesting this is the only way to survive. It can be incredibly difficult to come at this from a place of compassion, but I've found that when I do - when I create real value in their lives through acts of community and cooperation - I can slowly open a door for them to see other ways. It takes time and a lot of compassion. But it's totally doable, and it can feel real good to see people build compassion from nothing.
- foobiekr 4y ago
  Perhaps it didn't come across, but when I say they are sadistic I mean things like I wouldn't trust my pets around them. One of them, and I will use this as an example and let it be, is the nephew of an insanely rich family, not as rich as some but quote wealthy and grew up privileged. One afternoon he was raging about the dog park near his condominium, and was describing his plan to scatter hard boiled eggs with needles inserted in them to discourage the dog owners from using it. Sure, he needed help. Who knows, maybe his family, though affluent, was abusive. I had no interest in finding out.
Sporktacular 4y ago
Can you say more about which company that is?
- foobiekr 4y ago
  No. Though I've compared notes with friends and coworkers and they basically agree with the high rate observation...
  - Sporktacular 4y ago
    Can you say which industry it is? Curious about that correlation too.
    - foobiekr 4y ago
      Hardware. But these people were product line managers, marketing, etc. A few were ex-sw-engineers. I didn't observe anything consistent except they had gathered at this place.
      - Sporktacular 4y ago
        Interesting. Thanks.

pstuart 4y ago

"The cruelty is the point" is very real. Hurts my heart.

jimkleiber 4y ago
yeah :-( I see it as "I'm hurting so much, I want you to also hurt." or "I want you to know the pain I feel." I think we underestimate how much other people are suffering (mostly because most cultures I know teach us not to cry) and feel our own pain, therefore inflicting pain on them to try to equalize it. I think an easier (and less pain-inducing) way is for us to just get better at sharing our suffering.

kmacdough 4y ago

I've found this tends to come from life experience suggesting this is the only way to survive. It can be incredibly difficult to come at this from a place of compassion, but I've found that when I do - when I create real value in their lives through acts of community and cooperation - I can slowly open a door for them to see other ways. It takes time and a lot of compassion. But it's totally doable, and it can feel real good to see people build compassion from nothing.

foobiekr 4y ago
Perhaps it didn't come across, but when I say they are sadistic I mean things like I wouldn't trust my pets around them. One of them, and I will use this as an example and let it be, is the nephew of an insanely rich family, not as rich as some but quote wealthy and grew up privileged. One afternoon he was raging about the dog park near his condominium, and was describing his plan to scatter hard boiled eggs with needles inserted in them to discourage the dog owners from using it. Sure, he needed help. Who knows, maybe his family, though affluent, was abusive. I had no interest in finding out.

Sporktacular 4y ago

Can you say more about which company that is?

foobiekr 4y ago
No. Though I've compared notes with friends and coworkers and they basically agree with the high rate observation...
- Sporktacular 4y ago
  Can you say which industry it is? Curious about that correlation too.
  - foobiekr 4y ago
    Hardware. But these people were product line managers, marketing, etc. A few were ex-sw-engineers. I didn't observe anything consistent except they had gathered at this place.
    - Sporktacular 4y ago
      Interesting. Thanks.