I still think steelmanning is the right path to addressing conflict. Even in very tense settings, it’s hard for people to be disagreeable about you accurately

I still think steelmanning is the right path to addressing conflict. Even in very tense settings, it’s hard for people to be disagreeable about you accurately relaying their view — maybe even better than they did themselves. That makes people feel listened to and understood, which are powerful motivators in human psychology. I won’t pretend I always do this, but I’ve certainly had the best success inquiring about their position until I can steelman it and only then addressing why I disagree. As Chris Voss would say, you don’t want them to say “you’re right”, you want them to say “that’s right”.