I've gone through that from the opposite perspective. My SO works from home and sometimes when I'd have a sick day, or a public holiday or whatever I'd wander i

I've gone through that from the opposite perspective. My SO works from home and sometimes when I'd have a sick day, or a public holiday or whatever I'd wander into the study and have a chat, or pop my head in to offer a cup of tea or something. To me she would seem kind of standoffish or dismissive. It took me quite a long time to wrap my head around the fact that she wasn't being rude or ignoring me, she was working. Funny how the brain works. I obviously knew it, intellectually, but I would still get a bit bummed out or wonder if she was mad at me or whatever when she'd sit in the house "just being on the computer" for 7 hours and not talk to me. Especially when I wouldn't normally be home, I'd be looking forward to spending a bit more time together. Sometimes I'd give her a hug or something and it took a while for her to mention "look, it's not that I don't like you, it's just like how you would feel if I turned up in your office and gave you a cuddle while you were in the middle of doing something - my brain is in full work mode, it can't instantly switch to affection mode". This reversal of opinion - imagining having my SO around my office wanting to hang out and chat and have coffee and how distracting and kind of irritating it would be - is when it finally clicked for me. Of course now I feel foolish for ever thinking that way, and all's well. But I sympathise with your wife!