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Why the scare quotes around online friends? Online friends are very real friends.

by DavidSJ 4y ago

slothtrop 4y ago
Because they're no substitute for friends you see in person.
- DavidSJ 4y ago
  It's a big world out there. Sometimes the best connections aren't found locally.
  - bloqs 4y ago
    This may be the case as a fully formed and experienced adult, but it's critical at developmental stages
    - DavidSJ 4y ago
      When I was a teenager, I had local friends and online friends, and my online friends were very real and I'm very thankful that I had them. Neither were a replacement for the other.
  - slothtrop 4y ago
    There's a level of human connection and validation that can't be satisfied virtually. We're animals, that contact is important. We wouldn't settle for a virtual significant-other, and by the same token the experience of quality time with buds over extra-curriculars isn't going to be fully replicated in a chat-room, blog message or email.
- kerabatsos 4y ago
  All my co-workers are online. I consider some to be good friends. It’s the way of the world now.
  - bloqs 4y ago
    You aren't a developing teenager, probably. It's well evidenced as essential for psychosocial development
  - slothtrop 4y ago
    My co-workers are online too but that has no bearing on whether I see friends in person, nor does it encompass my entire social life.
  - Gene_Parmesan 4y ago
    As recent decades have progressed and more of our lives have gone digital, self reported rates of loneliness, isolation and depression have been skyrocketing. It's sometimes called the Internet Paradox - a technology that is supposed to increase our connection is correlated with increased feelings of isolation. It's been the subject of study but it's impossible to truly reject the hypothesis due to the ubiquity of the effect - there's no control group. Obviously correlation is not causation, but I think the severity of the effects warrant further thought and investigation.
- GOATS- 4y ago
  This simply isn't true. Many of my closest friendships started online - with people who share the same interest as me, which is rare to find irl. I have since met a handful of online friends in person and they're always as lovely as they were online. Online friends were very important to me growing up, and still are today.
  - slothtrop 4y ago
    That doesn't actually contradict me.
    - DavidSJ 4y ago
      But nor does what you said really answer my question. Online friends are real, and often provide things that local friends can't. No one here is saying they're a substitute for local friends, but that doesn't mean these relationships should be denigrated.
      - slothtrop 4y ago
        > But nor does what you said really answer my question. I answered, but to further clarify: online friendships are not sufficient. No one said they don't have their place, either.
        deleted 4y ago
        [deleted]
  - parkingrift 4y ago
    Everything you’ve said is true, but also you literally cannot replicate in-person interaction. Perhaps one day we will be able to trick our lizard brains with virtual interactions, but we can’t do it at present. There is no replacement for touching, feeling, smelling, and seeing. You can have meaningful relationships online but you are absolutely missing out if you’re only interactions are digital.
    - 4y ago

Why the scare quotes around online friends? Online friends are very real friends.

slothtrop 4y ago

Because they're no substitute for friends you see in person.

DavidSJ 4y ago
It's a big world out there. Sometimes the best connections aren't found locally.
- bloqs 4y ago
  This may be the case as a fully formed and experienced adult, but it's critical at developmental stages
  - DavidSJ 4y ago
    When I was a teenager, I had local friends and online friends, and my online friends were very real and I'm very thankful that I had them. Neither were a replacement for the other.
- slothtrop 4y ago
  There's a level of human connection and validation that can't be satisfied virtually. We're animals, that contact is important. We wouldn't settle for a virtual significant-other, and by the same token the experience of quality time with buds over extra-curriculars isn't going to be fully replicated in a chat-room, blog message or email.
kerabatsos 4y ago
All my co-workers are online. I consider some to be good friends. It’s the way of the world now.
- bloqs 4y ago
  You aren't a developing teenager, probably. It's well evidenced as essential for psychosocial development
- slothtrop 4y ago
  My co-workers are online too but that has no bearing on whether I see friends in person, nor does it encompass my entire social life.
- Gene_Parmesan 4y ago
  As recent decades have progressed and more of our lives have gone digital, self reported rates of loneliness, isolation and depression have been skyrocketing. It's sometimes called the Internet Paradox - a technology that is supposed to increase our connection is correlated with increased feelings of isolation. It's been the subject of study but it's impossible to truly reject the hypothesis due to the ubiquity of the effect - there's no control group. Obviously correlation is not causation, but I think the severity of the effects warrant further thought and investigation.
GOATS- 4y ago
This simply isn't true. Many of my closest friendships started online - with people who share the same interest as me, which is rare to find irl. I have since met a handful of online friends in person and they're always as lovely as they were online. Online friends were very important to me growing up, and still are today.
- slothtrop 4y ago
  That doesn't actually contradict me.
  - DavidSJ 4y ago
    But nor does what you said really answer my question. Online friends are real, and often provide things that local friends can't. No one here is saying they're a substitute for local friends, but that doesn't mean these relationships should be denigrated.
    - slothtrop 4y ago
      > But nor does what you said really answer my question. I answered, but to further clarify: online friendships are not sufficient. No one said they don't have their place, either.
      - deleted 4y ago
        [deleted]
- parkingrift 4y ago
  Everything you’ve said is true, but also you literally cannot replicate in-person interaction. Perhaps one day we will be able to trick our lizard brains with virtual interactions, but we can’t do it at present. There is no replacement for touching, feeling, smelling, and seeing. You can have meaningful relationships online but you are absolutely missing out if you’re only interactions are digital.
  - 4y ago