5 ms·

Honestly you have to be willing to 'buy' yourself some. Via paying for parties, trips, going out etc. You can never replicate the bond that comes with being in

Honestly you have to be willing to 'buy' yourself some. Via paying for parties, trips, going out etc. You can never replicate the bond that comes with being in school during teenage years and fighting a common enemy (eg. math teacher, principal etc), trying all sort of stuff together for the first time ever. Most people rightfully stick with such bonds because they are very strong and genuine, while you'll always be 'somebody I know' or 'somebody from work' You might want to target people who had such bond collapse for one reason or another and are now kinda lost.

MilnerRoute 4y ago
Another option: reach out to people you've known over the years but lost touch with. (Whether it's from school, past workplaces, places you lived...) The internet makes this surprisingly easy -- and you'll already have something to talk about. And some people do grow and become more interesting as the years roll along.
- rjleone 4y ago
  I second this! Sometimes you just click with someone you've only casually known on the internet or like a friend of a friend. I'm literally going to the beach with one of those people tomorrow, we met years ago through my college roommate and just kept in touch online.
robocat 4y ago
> You can never replicate the bond that comes with being in school during teenage years I suspect you have not asked middle aged men and women where their friends came from. Some patterns I have seen for finding close friends after 20 are A: the group-of-us versus them (graduate intake, military intake), B: shared scary experience (first pregnancy, catastrophe, sickness), C: linked by children (kids parents, school, kids activities). Also cities full of itinerants are much more welcoming to making new friendships (however the friendships often fade when people move away again). Currently I am doing friends of friends - although I end up with a very diverse group of disconnected people.

MilnerRoute 4y ago

Another option: reach out to people you've known over the years but lost touch with. (Whether it's from school, past workplaces, places you lived...) The internet makes this surprisingly easy -- and you'll already have something to talk about. And some people do grow and become more interesting as the years roll along.

rjleone 4y ago
I second this! Sometimes you just click with someone you've only casually known on the internet or like a friend of a friend. I'm literally going to the beach with one of those people tomorrow, we met years ago through my college roommate and just kept in touch online.

robocat 4y ago

> You can never replicate the bond that comes with being in school during teenage years I suspect you have not asked middle aged men and women where their friends came from. Some patterns I have seen for finding close friends after 20 are A: the group-of-us versus them (graduate intake, military intake), B: shared scary experience (first pregnancy, catastrophe, sickness), C: linked by children (kids parents, school, kids activities). Also cities full of itinerants are much more welcoming to making new friendships (however the friendships often fade when people move away again). Currently I am doing friends of friends - although I end up with a very diverse group of disconnected people.