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Get people to agree with you first A slight twist to this: get people to say yes. My "success rate" (with approaching women) went up drastically when I change

Get people to agree with you first A slight twist to this: get people to say yes. My "success rate" (with approaching women) went up drastically when I changed the first words out of my mouth to "Can you hear me?". I now ask this even when I know a woman doesn't have earphones on. Why does it work? I have a couple of guesses. It is a question that you can't help reply to. And inadvertently when you answer this question, you begin paying more attention to the party that asked. In ad-speak, this pretty much takes care of the A(attention) in AIDA.

deleted 15y ago
[deleted]
arepb 15y ago
This has been proven to be one of the things that helps grease the slide for a prospect to become a customer. One of the key things a salesperson does is to get the prospect to get accustom to a "series of yesses." Even the smallest yes, such as Salesperson: "Nice weather today, isn't it?" Betty, unsuspecting: "Ah, yes..." The thinking being that since the final sale will require one big yes, building up a series of small yesses gets the prospect in the habit (albeit subconsciously) of agreeing with the salesperson.
gcl2 15y ago
You might have been inadvertently employing the "disarming" technique used by pick up artists. "The Game" is an amazing book detailing the techniques used by pick up artists (and no, it's just for people who want to pick up ladies but more generally about influencing people).
- badclient 15y ago
  As someone who has met a few of the people from The Game, I can tell you it's mostly crapware with very little to learn from. The basic flaw with The Game(and most of the games of the characters in it) is that they take this to such extreme that instead of becoming charming and attractive, you become a paranoid insecure jerk. That said, The Game has helped motivate many to take action in a critical area of their life.
  - Helianthus 15y ago
    I always refer to it as a 'cargo cult' theory of human interaction
    - skore 15y ago
      I always wondered what bothered me about these 'The Game' approaches to "successfully influence people" and I think you really nailed it down. OF COURSE people will find it easier to agree with you if they have agreed with you before - that should be obvious. The question is - what do you have to do to get that? 'The Game' seems to say - "well, anything that is necessary, of course", as though aping people into nodding was some kind of accomplishment and as though that accomplishment in itself was admirable and healthy. I'd rather have people actually agree with me in small things that we both care about and then be happy to agree with me big time. If you need to bullshit, "warm up" or in some other ways mislead people (and yes, that includes "Weather is great, isn't it?" when you don't really care about the weather), you are building a pile of very tiny lies to make the jump to the big lie less noticeable. At some point, you will just cross the bullshit horizon, the point at which MOSTLY what you do is lie to and trick people - and have fun with your empty soul while you're at it. It is indeed a cargo cult - you do achieve things with it, but then you sit there in your wooden mock-up flight control tower next to your empty dirt runway wearing your headphones made of straws and wonder why you never seem to actually be happy.
      - temphn 15y ago
        But it's not a cargo cult if it works, or even partially works.
        Radix 15y ago
        It took me a second too. What the gp says is that the fake relationships are cargo too. The players are mistaking the thing for its description. Beautiful people are not beautiful relationships, and friendships built on lies and partial truths are trustless and empty.
abbasmehdi 15y ago
Oh my God, you've just made "Can you hear me?" the most commonly used pick-up line in the south bay. ;)
- badclient 15y ago
  Oh wow, sad that I could actually see that happening going by the gullible nature of the community. I'm pretty confident though that by the time its gone through the community's marketing machine, it will turn into some creepy move, available on DVD for $1,000. Alas I got much out of the Bay Area scene back in the day so as long as the secret stays away from NYC I'm good :)
keiferski 15y ago
Reminds me of a scene in Boiler Room: Ask him questions. Ask him rhetorical questions. It doesn't matter, just get a 'yes' out of him. If you were drowning and I threw you a life jacket, would you grab it? Yes. Good. Pick up 200 shares. I won't let you down. Ask him if he wants to see 30-40% returns. What's he gonna say, 'no, I don't want to see those returns'? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izOIOvguncU&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izOIOvguncU&feature=relat... (possibly nsfw, language)
- ims 15y ago
  If you liked this movie, may I suggest the David Mamet movie that inspired it: Glengarry Glen Ross (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104348/ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104348/). Brilliant (but NSFW, language) "Always Be Closing" scene to give you a feel for it: www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-AXTx4PcKI
shin_lao 15y ago
It's a foot in the door, you obtain a little something to obtain much more afterward. It's because we tend to not contradict ourselves and act the way we acted, because doing otherwise would be irrational, right? :D "I've started to talk to this stranger, there is no reason I stop now". Of course there must be a ground for agreement in the first place, you cannot force someone to do something he absolutely doesn't want to do with this technique.

deleted 15y ago

[deleted]

arepb 15y ago

This has been proven to be one of the things that helps grease the slide for a prospect to become a customer. One of the key things a salesperson does is to get the prospect to get accustom to a "series of yesses." Even the smallest yes, such as Salesperson: "Nice weather today, isn't it?" Betty, unsuspecting: "Ah, yes..." The thinking being that since the final sale will require one big yes, building up a series of small yesses gets the prospect in the habit (albeit subconsciously) of agreeing with the salesperson.

gcl2 15y ago

You might have been inadvertently employing the "disarming" technique used by pick up artists. "The Game" is an amazing book detailing the techniques used by pick up artists (and no, it's just for people who want to pick up ladies but more generally about influencing people).

badclient 15y ago
As someone who has met a few of the people from The Game, I can tell you it's mostly crapware with very little to learn from. The basic flaw with The Game(and most of the games of the characters in it) is that they take this to such extreme that instead of becoming charming and attractive, you become a paranoid insecure jerk. That said, The Game has helped motivate many to take action in a critical area of their life.
- Helianthus 15y ago
  I always refer to it as a 'cargo cult' theory of human interaction
  - skore 15y ago
    I always wondered what bothered me about these 'The Game' approaches to "successfully influence people" and I think you really nailed it down. OF COURSE people will find it easier to agree with you if they have agreed with you before - that should be obvious. The question is - what do you have to do to get that? 'The Game' seems to say - "well, anything that is necessary, of course", as though aping people into nodding was some kind of accomplishment and as though that accomplishment in itself was admirable and healthy. I'd rather have people actually agree with me in small things that we both care about and then be happy to agree with me big time. If you need to bullshit, "warm up" or in some other ways mislead people (and yes, that includes "Weather is great, isn't it?" when you don't really care about the weather), you are building a pile of very tiny lies to make the jump to the big lie less noticeable. At some point, you will just cross the bullshit horizon, the point at which MOSTLY what you do is lie to and trick people - and have fun with your empty soul while you're at it. It is indeed a cargo cult - you do achieve things with it, but then you sit there in your wooden mock-up flight control tower next to your empty dirt runway wearing your headphones made of straws and wonder why you never seem to actually be happy.
    - temphn 15y ago
      But it's not a cargo cult if it works, or even partially works.
      - Radix 15y ago
        It took me a second too. What the gp says is that the fake relationships are cargo too. The players are mistaking the thing for its description. Beautiful people are not beautiful relationships, and friendships built on lies and partial truths are trustless and empty.

abbasmehdi 15y ago

Oh my God, you've just made "Can you hear me?" the most commonly used pick-up line in the south bay. ;)

badclient 15y ago
Oh wow, sad that I could actually see that happening going by the gullible nature of the community. I'm pretty confident though that by the time its gone through the community's marketing machine, it will turn into some creepy move, available on DVD for $1,000. Alas I got much out of the Bay Area scene back in the day so as long as the secret stays away from NYC I'm good :)

keiferski 15y ago

Reminds me of a scene in Boiler Room: Ask him questions. Ask him rhetorical questions. It doesn't matter, just get a 'yes' out of him. If you were drowning and I threw you a life jacket, would you grab it? Yes. Good. Pick up 200 shares. I won't let you down. Ask him if he wants to see 30-40% returns. What's he gonna say, 'no, I don't want to see those returns'? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izOIOvguncU&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izOIOvguncU&feature=relat... (possibly nsfw, language)

ims 15y ago
If you liked this movie, may I suggest the David Mamet movie that inspired it: Glengarry Glen Ross (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104348/ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104348/). Brilliant (but NSFW, language) "Always Be Closing" scene to give you a feel for it: www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-AXTx4PcKI

shin_lao 15y ago

It's a foot in the door, you obtain a little something to obtain much more afterward. It's because we tend to not contradict ourselves and act the way we acted, because doing otherwise would be irrational, right? :D "I've started to talk to this stranger, there is no reason I stop now". Of course there must be a ground for agreement in the first place, you cannot force someone to do something he absolutely doesn't want to do with this technique.