4 ms·

thanks for sharing. what i've found is that talk therapists often lack the experience or insight/framework into our specific industry. I think that the issues o

by b20000 4y ago

thanks for sharing. what i've found is that talk therapists often lack the experience or insight/framework into our specific industry. I think that the issues of our industry are unique and that it requires a certain kind of therapist to understand what one is talking about. or, perhaps I haven't encountered the type of therapist capable to venture into any kind of new territory presented.

Mezzie 4y ago
Ironically, I never jumped into the tech industry because of my mental health (though I couldn't articulate it that way back when I decided to go to college for something else, and I do program as a freelancer - I just won't be a tech employee). Still, I can understand having a specific experience you need understood: I got diagnosed with MS my last semester of grad school, so I had to cope with losing any hope of a normal career path, accepting that I was probably going to slowly lose physical capacity, etc. I needed someone who could work within that framework. (For example, imagine trying therapy where part of the worldview is 'you don't know the future/the future will be better'. That's just plain GASLIGHTING in my case!) Regarding tech specific issues, I'd try to come up with a sense of what you need understood and a few questions whose answers would let you determine if the person groks where you're coming from. Things I can think of are: - The hypercompetitiveness and lack of stability in the tech industry. Leaving jobs every year or two is common, as is having a ton of your compensation be in stocks, the companies themselves failing fairly often, etc. It's hard to re-establish a sense of safety if your life is not stable + routine is difficult. - The libertarian/bootstraps type worldview in SV + adjacent types (primarily due to filter bubbles + survivorship bias) can combine with PTSD to create some really, really nasty thought patterns. - The therapist needs to understand systems thinking. I know a lot of my problems come from the fact that I can't turn that approach to things off, which means I both spend a lot of time stressing about system-wide problems I can't do anything about and I don't spend enough time creating heuristics. I try to look at using systems-thinking too much in my daily life is like looking directly at the sun or not wearing earplugs at a concert: Just because I can do something doesn't mean it's the best idea for my long-term health. It's very slow going. But you'd need someone who can understand getting lost in (and genuinely distressed by) these large issues.
- b20000 4y ago
  "you don't know the future/the future will be better" this sounds familiar. I've had an experience where I would speak about certain life changing events and family issues and all I would get back is "you can't change people, you can only change yourself" and "time will heal this". Basically, very generic self-help kind of talk. I understand where they are coming from but it's an over simplistic way of dealing with highly complex situations.

by b20000 4y ago

Mezzie 4y ago

Ironically, I never jumped into the tech industry because of my mental health (though I couldn't articulate it that way back when I decided to go to college for something else, and I do program as a freelancer - I just won't be a tech employee). Still, I can understand having a specific experience you need understood: I got diagnosed with MS my last semester of grad school, so I had to cope with losing any hope of a normal career path, accepting that I was probably going to slowly lose physical capacity, etc. I needed someone who could work within that framework. (For example, imagine trying therapy where part of the worldview is 'you don't know the future/the future will be better'. That's just plain GASLIGHTING in my case!) Regarding tech specific issues, I'd try to come up with a sense of what you need understood and a few questions whose answers would let you determine if the person groks where you're coming from. Things I can think of are: - The hypercompetitiveness and lack of stability in the tech industry. Leaving jobs every year or two is common, as is having a ton of your compensation be in stocks, the companies themselves failing fairly often, etc. It's hard to re-establish a sense of safety if your life is not stable + routine is difficult. - The libertarian/bootstraps type worldview in SV + adjacent types (primarily due to filter bubbles + survivorship bias) can combine with PTSD to create some really, really nasty thought patterns. - The therapist needs to understand systems thinking. I know a lot of my problems come from the fact that I can't turn that approach to things off, which means I both spend a lot of time stressing about system-wide problems I can't do anything about and I don't spend enough time creating heuristics. I try to look at using systems-thinking too much in my daily life is like looking directly at the sun or not wearing earplugs at a concert: Just because I can do something doesn't mean it's the best idea for my long-term health. It's very slow going. But you'd need someone who can understand getting lost in (and genuinely distressed by) these large issues.

b20000 4y ago
"you don't know the future/the future will be better" this sounds familiar. I've had an experience where I would speak about certain life changing events and family issues and all I would get back is "you can't change people, you can only change yourself" and "time will heal this". Basically, very generic self-help kind of talk. I understand where they are coming from but it's an over simplistic way of dealing with highly complex situations.