Sure. I guess the war wouldn't have happened if the North said, sure, see you later, bye. But then, again, the South wouldn't have seceded without Southern elit

Sure. I guess the war wouldn't have happened if the North said, sure, see you later, bye. But then, again, the South wouldn't have seceded without Southern elites being frightened that the North would take away the foundation of their wealth. So, exactly what does it mean to "reject this notion"? And what would have happened when the Confederacy demanded that the United States return escaped slaves, and the United States refused? How long before Southerners decided that the North was an existential threat?