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If you have kids and your spouse also has a career, all this goes out the window, and you are stuck in survival mode for at least the first 5 years (assuming on
by avidphantasm 4y ago
If you have kids and your spouse also has a career, all this goes out the window, and you are stuck in survival mode for at least the first 5 years (assuming one kid). For example: extracurricular activities basically cease, and personal is winnowed down to getting the bare minimum of exercise if you are lucky. Still it’s probably good advice to trim professional projects if you can. However, many people don’t have the same flexibility to do this as an academic does, but can learn to say “no” to projects, which sometimes works.
- cercatrova 4y agoAnother solution is to not have kids, interestingly enough.
- greymalik 4y agoSorry, horse has left the barn on that one.
- cercatrova 4y agoSure, I meant for other readers who have not (yet?) had kids.
- b-lee 4y agoWhat is the point of "productivity" if you're not accomplishing what is important in your life?
- cercatrova 4y agoThat's predicated on the false assumption that everyone finds kids important. Many certainly do not, like myself. I'd rather have more money and time than raise a child.
- ianceicys 4y agoSimple question: If not your kids, who's going to be at your funeral?
- Xcelerate 4y agoAs someone with a kid, this seems like a very bad reason to have kids. At my funeral, since I will be dead, the only ones who will (presumably) be suffering at that point will be the mourners, so arguably, the less people at one’s funeral, the less overall suffering there is.
- ianceicys 4y agoFuneral's don't have to be about suffering - Death isn't the end of the story for many people of faith. Leaving a legacy to the next generation is quite possibly the most meaningful thing we are capable of doing, no? In terms of the lens of the Regret Minimization Framework (for me) I would regret not having the family I'm leaving my legacy to at my funeral.
- cercatrova 4y agoThis is a strange justification for having children, thinking of who'd be at one's funeral. I don't care, because I'd be dead, incapable of caring.
- ianceicys 4y agoYou say you don't care, so if not your kids who's going to be at your funeral?
- cercatrova 4y agoI just said it doesn't matter, because I'm dead. But if I'm going to answer your question, friends and family would be there, just like everyone else's funeral. Even if I don't have kids, I will have other friends and family who do.
- fitch321 4y agoAnother one is to have a stay at home mom.
- MrPatan 4y agoA wrong but self-correcting strategy.