I'm technically a Roman Catholic. My parents told me that if I performed the rituals, like communion, I'd get a new bike and it would make grandma happy. My fat

I'm technically a Roman Catholic. My parents told me that if I performed the rituals, like communion, I'd get a new bike and it would make grandma happy. My father's belief system: Dad: "It's freezing in this church". Mum: "Shhhht! We're in session, have some respect". Dad: "At least it will be warm in hell".