4 ms·

First base is hooking up, second base is talking, third base is going on a date

41 points by jger15 4y ago

Lapsa 4y ago
"Not the other way around." wat?
jsiaajdsdaa 4y ago
- jonnybgood 4y ago
  Who is they? What smart people?
  - jsiaajdsdaa 4y ago
    - tevon 4y ago
      Please google confounding factors. Let’s alone that this reduction to “they” being people who have sex with strangers and “smart people” being people who move. That is bizarre.
  - the_only_law 4y ago
    Me me me!
invalidname 4y ago
Title is from here: https://yaledailynews.com/blog/2020/02/14/settling-down-romance-in-the-era-of-gen-z/ https://yaledailynews.com/blog/2020/02/14/settling-down-roma...
anotheruser092 4y ago
Note that the article focuses on online dating, and largely on data from Tinder. The bases are not necessarily the same for people who meet through acquaintances/work/church (small minority in the US today, but it still happens)/etc., for users reading the comments before possibly the submission.
cinntaile 4y ago
> They have to actively suppress this desire to get anything else done. That's a very reductionist view of the sex drive of young males. I don't think this is factual at all.
- patrick451 4y ago
  Why not? It may be slightly exaggerated, but it rings pretty from my experience. From a biological perspective, the sole "purpose" of any animal, humans included, is to reproduce, which is accomplished by not dying and, for males, mating as much as possible. Why should we be surprised that this is an overwhelming urge?
  - cinntaile 4y ago
    Can you tell me more about your struggles to get anything done because your mind was or is preoccupied with getting laid all the time? It does not match my experience at all, so I'm trying to understand it.
    - patrick451 4y ago
      I suspect you're interpreting this more literally than I am. In any case, Dave Chappelle explains it more eloquently than I can. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5hu7o2Q62k https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5hu7o2Q62k
mplewis 4y ago
The conclusions in this article don’t follow from the data it presents.
jquaint 4y ago
> In terms of attractiveness, the bottom 80% of men are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men. This feels like an incel talking point. It reductive that "tinder Elo" == "attractiveness". Especially considering that tinder controls algorithm and will just do whatever makes the most money. Hard pressed to say this is the "nartual" behavior of young people these days.
- MrMember 4y ago
  That doesn't mean it isn't true. OkCupid used to publish all sorts of interesting data before they were bought by Match, including similar statistics to those.
- faeriechangling 4y ago
  I find it interesting how whenever I see people looking into data from dating sites drawing any conclusions from the data is written off as “incel talking points”. It’s pretty easy to do an experiment on dating sites where you control for other variables by testing for matches with photos and different descriptions and you’re going to find attractiveness is a large part of the effect because the point of these apps is casual sex. I am interested with the derision people react with by even pointing out that the world of casual sex is not egalitarian particularly for men. I find it interesting that is a stigmatized fact.
- richbell 4y ago
  > This feels like an incel talking point. I mean, it is... because it's a fairly consistent finding across all dating apps. It's not uncommon for women to get hundreds of matches, whereas it's extremely common for 'average' men to get nothing but bots. Whether this is indicative of people's "natural" behaviour is somewhat irrelevant because perception is reality, and the reality for many young men is that they don't feel attractive or desired by anyone. Swiping right hundreds of times and not receiving a single match is incredibly dejecting; of course, many don't realize that they're being manipulated and that "Tinder matches" != objective desirability. > Especially considering that tinder controls algorithm and will just do whatever makes the most money. Spot on. I think it's also worth mentioning that the Match Group, which owns Tinder, has been aggressively purchasing dating apps and monetizing them in ways that intentionally sabotaged people's ability to find a partner. I believe the success of Tinder has also lead to them copying the same shallow and problematic mechanics (quickly swiping yes/no based on a picture) into other apps which previously tried to find meaningful matches for people. Online dating has rapidly replaced traditional methods of meeting romantic partners. For many people, this (intentionally) dysfunctional system is all they've ever known, and is considered normal.

41 points by jger15 4y ago

Lapsa 4y ago

"Not the other way around." wat?

jsiaajdsdaa 4y ago

jonnybgood 4y ago
Who is they? What smart people?
- jsiaajdsdaa 4y ago
  - tevon 4y ago
    Please google confounding factors. Let’s alone that this reduction to “they” being people who have sex with strangers and “smart people” being people who move. That is bizarre.
- the_only_law 4y ago
  Me me me!

invalidname 4y ago

Title is from here: https://yaledailynews.com/blog/2020/02/14/settling-down-romance-in-the-era-of-gen-z/ https://yaledailynews.com/blog/2020/02/14/settling-down-roma...

anotheruser092 4y ago

Note that the article focuses on online dating, and largely on data from Tinder. The bases are not necessarily the same for people who meet through acquaintances/work/church (small minority in the US today, but it still happens)/etc., for users reading the comments before possibly the submission.

cinntaile 4y ago

> They have to actively suppress this desire to get anything else done. That's a very reductionist view of the sex drive of young males. I don't think this is factual at all.

patrick451 4y ago
Why not? It may be slightly exaggerated, but it rings pretty from my experience. From a biological perspective, the sole "purpose" of any animal, humans included, is to reproduce, which is accomplished by not dying and, for males, mating as much as possible. Why should we be surprised that this is an overwhelming urge?
- cinntaile 4y ago
  Can you tell me more about your struggles to get anything done because your mind was or is preoccupied with getting laid all the time? It does not match my experience at all, so I'm trying to understand it.
  - patrick451 4y ago
    I suspect you're interpreting this more literally than I am. In any case, Dave Chappelle explains it more eloquently than I can. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5hu7o2Q62k https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5hu7o2Q62k

mplewis 4y ago

The conclusions in this article don’t follow from the data it presents.

jquaint 4y ago

> In terms of attractiveness, the bottom 80% of men are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men. This feels like an incel talking point. It reductive that "tinder Elo" == "attractiveness". Especially considering that tinder controls algorithm and will just do whatever makes the most money. Hard pressed to say this is the "nartual" behavior of young people these days.

MrMember 4y ago
That doesn't mean it isn't true. OkCupid used to publish all sorts of interesting data before they were bought by Match, including similar statistics to those.
faeriechangling 4y ago
I find it interesting how whenever I see people looking into data from dating sites drawing any conclusions from the data is written off as “incel talking points”. It’s pretty easy to do an experiment on dating sites where you control for other variables by testing for matches with photos and different descriptions and you’re going to find attractiveness is a large part of the effect because the point of these apps is casual sex. I am interested with the derision people react with by even pointing out that the world of casual sex is not egalitarian particularly for men. I find it interesting that is a stigmatized fact.
richbell 4y ago
> This feels like an incel talking point. I mean, it is... because it's a fairly consistent finding across all dating apps. It's not uncommon for women to get hundreds of matches, whereas it's extremely common for 'average' men to get nothing but bots. Whether this is indicative of people's "natural" behaviour is somewhat irrelevant because perception is reality, and the reality for many young men is that they don't feel attractive or desired by anyone. Swiping right hundreds of times and not receiving a single match is incredibly dejecting; of course, many don't realize that they're being manipulated and that "Tinder matches" != objective desirability. > Especially considering that tinder controls algorithm and will just do whatever makes the most money. Spot on. I think it's also worth mentioning that the Match Group, which owns Tinder, has been aggressively purchasing dating apps and monetizing them in ways that intentionally sabotaged people's ability to find a partner. I believe the success of Tinder has also lead to them copying the same shallow and problematic mechanics (quickly swiping yes/no based on a picture) into other apps which previously tried to find meaningful matches for people. Online dating has rapidly replaced traditional methods of meeting romantic partners. For many people, this (intentionally) dysfunctional system is all they've ever known, and is considered normal.