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> Anecdotally, once I fully took on the duties of breadwinner our relationship really transformed into the healthiest and most stable it's ever been. She pursue
by klipt 4y ago
> Anecdotally, once I fully took on the duties of breadwinner our relationship really transformed into the healthiest and most stable it's ever been. She pursues her creative passions and I get the joy of watching her grow.
The problem here is the power imbalance. At least in the US, she has the power to divorce you at any time for no reason and date a different man, and you still have to support her with alimony/child support as if you were still together, but she of course no longer has to do any home making duties for you. It's a terrible deal for the breadwinner (generally the man). If you work a stressful but high paying job, you permanently lose the option to choose a lower stress lower paying job because the family court will assess your earning potential based on the high paying job and expect you to pay her forever based on that.
- yolo3000 4y agoWell, it's the same in the Netherlands and probably most places as well. It doesn't matter if the spouse cheated on you, the one who earns most ends up paying alimony. But the second part I don't know, why can't one get the less stressful job after divorce, it's not like you're enslaved, or are you?
- klipt 4y agoYou have to pay based on your max earning potential (the more stressful job) so if you take a less stressful, lower paying job you may have no money left to live on at all.
- Wowfunhappy 4y agoI'm actually pretty sure there are stay-at-home Dads who receive alimony, the law works both ways.
- klipt 4y agoThat's why I said > It's a terrible deal for the breadwinner (generally the man) It's a terrible deal for women breadwinners with stay at home husband too, but they're a minority of breadwinners.
- satyrnein 4y agoYou think the stay-at-home partner has all the power?! Perhaps you have never talked to a woman trapped in an unhappy marriage.
- klipt 4y agoI never said all the power, but the fact that you'll be the one getting paid in a divorce, rather than the one doing the paying, certainly makes divorce a more economically attractive option to you than to your breadwinner partner.