How about Jira-is-dog-slow-and-the-interface-is-garbage-so-just-give-me-the-data? Not catchy enough? Presumably if you built a front end for the database you’d

How about Jira-is-dog-slow-and-the-interface-is-garbage-so-just-give-me-the-data? Not catchy enough? Presumably if you built a front end for the database you’d then have a not shit issue tracker.