An unrelated video should start playing in the background after first click. Article content should end after first paragraph and ask you to create an account.

An unrelated video should start playing in the background after first click. Article content should end after first paragraph and ask you to create an account. After leaving tab the page title should be constantly changing (text in browser tab) and demanding your attention. In all seriousness, it would be great if you added an example of how website could look without all this mess, and how it would have better performance (literally and figuratively - as in returning visitors).