4 ms·

Ever try asking people questions? Like, "Bob? What do you think of this? Would you ever use it?" No need to make excuses, just do it. It's a leadership thing.

Ever try asking people questions? Like, "Bob? What do you think of this? Would you ever use it?" No need to make excuses, just do it. It's a leadership thing. Good leaders do that.

aloisdg 4y ago
Could it be seen as bullying?
- agentdrtran 4y ago
  No, unless you're only doing it to one person or being a jerk about it.
- fruit2020 4y ago
  How so?
- vanattab 4y ago
  Really asking a colleague his/her opinion on work related decisions is potential bullying now?
- selykg 4y ago
  If you're asking an expert in the area of what the topic is about, or stakeholders, or those that maybe have that topic in their circle of competence, then why would it be considered bullying? You'd expect them to have an opinion or some sort of feedback. If you're asking someone who has literally nothing to do with that area of your work then, that's just kind of a weird situation. The key is tying the question to the area that is impacted by the person you're asking. It could be an open ended question and not even super specific.
akhmatova 4y ago
Like, "Bob? What do you think of this? Would you ever use it?" It's actually kind of obnoxious to call on people like that. Even if it may seem like a "leadership thing" -- which may explain why it seems such a favored technique among wannabe alpha manger types. I'm with the parent commenter: if people are in the flow (and give a shit), they'll definitely have something say (and your difficulty will be in getting them to keep it short). If they're not, and you're getting crickets -- it points to a deeper problem. That cannot be solved by, in effect, throwing chalk at people to get them to speak up.
- zucked 4y ago
  My assumption is that if you're in the meeting, it has some adjacency to your work. This isn't about calling on the daydreaming kid in high school Spanish class who _has_ to be there to graduate. If you're in the meeting, it should be applicable to you and you should be ready to give some input; even saying something like "I'm not sure, need more info", or "don't have anything to add" is a valid and acceptable answer. If the meeting isn't germane to your work, why are you in it? I know people who do this because they're genuinely trying to get input from a broad set of people, some of whom will never speak unless they're asked directly. It doesn't have to be a mark of an alpha trying to beta everyone else.
  - p_j_w 4y ago
    >My assumption is that if you're in the meeting, it has some adjacency to your work. This assumption does not match up with my experience. >If the meeting isn't germane to your work, why are you in it? I personally have gotten pretty good about declining meetings, but plenty of people aren't. Besides, I've been occasionally asked by my direct manager to attend a meeting that it turns out I wasn't actually needed at or remotely interested in for my work. It would be nice to live in a world where meetings worked ideally and there weren't a bunch of people there wasting their own time, but that is sadly not the world we live in.
    - zucked 4y ago
      If it's not a meeting that you have any applicability to and someone asks for your input in the meeting, say so. "Sorry, I don't see myself using this product/service/team - not because it isn't good, it just isn't relevant to what I'm responsible for/in charge of". I feel like people treat meetings like this inescapable prison; once you're invited, you can never escape! It's bonkers. If you don't need to go to the meeting or don't have applicability… don't. I work for a Fortune-listed company -- exactly the kind of place where attendee bloat thrives and I've never once had any manager or supervisor aggressively push back on my declines if they are valid.
- t0mas88 4y ago
tqi 4y ago
I think there is a nuance here, where this is only useful if you do the work to tailor it to that person. ie "Bob, I know your team has had [X] concern in the past. From the [Y] perspective, does this seem useful to you?" The meta point being I don't think there are simple tricks or shortcuts to better participation.
- t0mas88 4y ago
  Sure that's nice. But what the post above suggested works fine as well, just pick someone that hasn't said anything yet and ask what they think. Unless you invite totally irrelevant people to meetings, they should have some kind of view or feedback on whatever was just presented.
nikau 4y ago
Then poor Bob has to fumble to find the mute button and confess he hasn't paid attention to what you have been droning on about for the last 2 minutes and asks you to repeat the question.

Ever try asking people questions? Like, "Bob? What do you think of this? Would you ever use it?" No need to make excuses, just do it. It's a leadership thing. Good leaders do that.

aloisdg 4y ago

Could it be seen as bullying?

agentdrtran 4y ago
No, unless you're only doing it to one person or being a jerk about it.
fruit2020 4y ago
How so?
vanattab 4y ago
Really asking a colleague his/her opinion on work related decisions is potential bullying now?
selykg 4y ago
If you're asking an expert in the area of what the topic is about, or stakeholders, or those that maybe have that topic in their circle of competence, then why would it be considered bullying? You'd expect them to have an opinion or some sort of feedback. If you're asking someone who has literally nothing to do with that area of your work then, that's just kind of a weird situation. The key is tying the question to the area that is impacted by the person you're asking. It could be an open ended question and not even super specific.

akhmatova 4y ago

Like, "Bob? What do you think of this? Would you ever use it?" It's actually kind of obnoxious to call on people like that. Even if it may seem like a "leadership thing" -- which may explain why it seems such a favored technique among wannabe alpha manger types. I'm with the parent commenter: if people are in the flow (and give a shit), they'll definitely have something say (and your difficulty will be in getting them to keep it short). If they're not, and you're getting crickets -- it points to a deeper problem. That cannot be solved by, in effect, throwing chalk at people to get them to speak up.

zucked 4y ago
My assumption is that if you're in the meeting, it has some adjacency to your work. This isn't about calling on the daydreaming kid in high school Spanish class who _has_ to be there to graduate. If you're in the meeting, it should be applicable to you and you should be ready to give some input; even saying something like "I'm not sure, need more info", or "don't have anything to add" is a valid and acceptable answer. If the meeting isn't germane to your work, why are you in it? I know people who do this because they're genuinely trying to get input from a broad set of people, some of whom will never speak unless they're asked directly. It doesn't have to be a mark of an alpha trying to beta everyone else.
- p_j_w 4y ago
  >My assumption is that if you're in the meeting, it has some adjacency to your work. This assumption does not match up with my experience. >If the meeting isn't germane to your work, why are you in it? I personally have gotten pretty good about declining meetings, but plenty of people aren't. Besides, I've been occasionally asked by my direct manager to attend a meeting that it turns out I wasn't actually needed at or remotely interested in for my work. It would be nice to live in a world where meetings worked ideally and there weren't a bunch of people there wasting their own time, but that is sadly not the world we live in.
  - zucked 4y ago
    If it's not a meeting that you have any applicability to and someone asks for your input in the meeting, say so. "Sorry, I don't see myself using this product/service/team - not because it isn't good, it just isn't relevant to what I'm responsible for/in charge of". I feel like people treat meetings like this inescapable prison; once you're invited, you can never escape! It's bonkers. If you don't need to go to the meeting or don't have applicability… don't. I work for a Fortune-listed company -- exactly the kind of place where attendee bloat thrives and I've never once had any manager or supervisor aggressively push back on my declines if they are valid.
t0mas88 4y ago

tqi 4y ago

I think there is a nuance here, where this is only useful if you do the work to tailor it to that person. ie "Bob, I know your team has had [X] concern in the past. From the [Y] perspective, does this seem useful to you?" The meta point being I don't think there are simple tricks or shortcuts to better participation.

t0mas88 4y ago
Sure that's nice. But what the post above suggested works fine as well, just pick someone that hasn't said anything yet and ask what they think. Unless you invite totally irrelevant people to meetings, they should have some kind of view or feedback on whatever was just presented.

nikau 4y ago

Then poor Bob has to fumble to find the mute button and confess he hasn't paid attention to what you have been droning on about for the last 2 minutes and asks you to repeat the question.