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Let me first say: impeccable article from The New Yorker. It's the only mainstream bastion of proper editing and spelling left (maybe The Economist, too). I don

by dvt 4y ago

Let me first say: impeccable article from The New Yorker. It's the only mainstream bastion of proper editing and spelling left (maybe The Economist, too). I don't think I've ever found a typo in their articles; as opposed to CNN/WaPo/NYT/FOX where I find typos and grammar errors routinely (even on their front pages). > Thursday. I describe it to my friends as “the grownup hookup app.” By “grownup,” I mean not only that its users are above a certain age but also that they favor a kind of maturity and decorum; by “hookup,” I mean that the app facilitates not romance but sex, broadly defined. It is not the place to find your “down-to-earth, no-drama girlfriend” or your “partner in crime.” How exactly does this translate into "emotional maturity?" Sounds like the writer is trying to ascribe some kind of moral superiority to enjoying non-vanilla casual sex. I mean, that's cool I guess, and no judgment, but from where I stand, dealing with bills, conflict resolution, changing diapers, attending PTA meetings, having to put kids through college, etc. probably requires way more "emotional maturity" than hooking up on a dating app. But maybe that's just me. > Not having a partner and not having kids may mean that you have more sporadic sexual encounters with people you do not know very well. I get that there's an agenda at play here (the very next sentence gets into abortion), but this is provably false. Young people are having less sex than ever[1]. In fact, many psychologists and sociologists are worried about a potential population bust. The root cause is unknown. [1] https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/03/29/share-americans-not-having-sex-has-reached-record-high/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/03/29/share-ame...

mise_en_place 4y ago
It's more like it requires an emotional apathy or detachment. At least that's what I've heard from my friends who engage in such casual encounters.
babelfish 4y ago
- sushxbehshx 4y ago
- bravetraveler 4y ago
  I must assume to share an opinion, what a silly question
- randomhodler84 4y ago
  That good quality proofed print journalism is rare, and the New Yorker produces quality content. I would agree and liked their message.
pjbeam 4y ago
I took that turn of phrase to mean something akin to the detachment she felt/feels to life. The whole article read to me like an ode to post post modern drifting in and out of superficial encounters. I ended up reading the whole thing while waiting to see if there was going to be a prod issue tonight. I'm definitely not the New Yorker's target audience.
pseudalopex 4y ago
> Sounds like the writer is trying to ascribe some kind of moral superiority to enjoying non-vanilla casual sex. Sounds more like contrast to other hookup apps.
jfabre 4y ago
A Hookup App for the Emotionally Jaded
nico 4y ago
> The root cause is unknown. Anecdata: My grandpa had 9 kids. When asked for the reason, he would say that in his times there was no TV. Now we have computers, tablets, phones and thousands of ways of consuming content. Almost everyone is addicted to their phones. I wouldn’t be surprised if we are just having a lot less human interaction, because we are preferring our devices. In fact right now I’m writing this comment while I have family around me to interact with. And they are all on their screens as well. We are not interacting, even though some of us are in the same room. Edit: removed my uninformed comment about the Uvalde police officer
- lazide 4y ago
  In many ways, relationships are 'paid for' with attention and time. We're spending most of that attention and time elsewhere now, and so relationships... just don't happen more often.
- rootusrootus 4y ago
  > One of the Uvalde officers was checking his phone The one whose wife, a teacher, was injured and dying? That doesn’t seem like a case of phone addiction.
- SPBesui 4y ago
  > One of the Uvalde officers was checking his phone with an ongoing shooting right next to him. If you’re talking about the one with the Punisher lock screen, I’m pretty sure his wife was contacting him telling him she’d been shot and was dying. AFAIK he wasn’t just “checking his phone” out of boredom.
- 7speter 4y ago
  I really don't think the summation of human interaction is the number of kids you end up having with a mate/partner/spouse, but maybe I'm wrong.
- throw_xxx_rated 4y ago
  > Anecdata: My grandpa had 9 kids. When asked for the reason, he would say that in his times there was no TV. You realize this is of course a joke? Every country in the world decreases birthrate as their socio-economic stability increases, because in part they no longer have to rely on having lots of kids to take care of them when they are old. The rest of your comment goes almost exactly against the story that is linked? That is about how technology is making it a lot easier for people to connect in person? It frustrates me that this thoughtless conservatism goes unchallenged on HN.
bradlys 4y ago
Root cause unknown but we know where people are meeting more and more. It's 1) online dating and 2) bars/clubs. Everything else individually is <10% of couples and keeps only getting smaller. Physical attractiveness is about all that matters in those venues. Your average man is not considered physically attractive to almost any women these days. So, is it a surprise that sex is going down when the only ways of meeting are relying on physical attraction are going up?
presentation 4y ago
I respect nonheteronormativity but do get annoyed by how people get on a high horse about it and talk like they’re a higher evolved life form as a result of not being straight. I can’t be the only one who’s irritated by it.
rayiner 4y ago
From the article: > This was one way to make my unwanted future tolerable, to at least make it interesting for myself: to pretend that there was such a possibility as a new kind of person in a new kind of world. I gotta say, the self awareness is refreshing.
brigandish 4y ago
> Let me first say: impeccable article from The New Yorker. It's the only mainstream bastion of proper editing and spelling left (maybe The Economist, too). I don't think I've ever found a typo in their articles; as opposed to CNN/WaPo/NYT/FOX where I find typos and grammar errors routinely (even on their front pages). The Guardian has the nickname Grauniad (coined by Private Eye, a far better publication) because of its frequent spelling errors. I had a girlfriend who became a sub-editor, and she was told not to use a spellchecker because it would lead to negligence and hence, mistakes. I understand their logic but I think it's wrong, just use all the tools at your disposal and be diligent.

by dvt 4y ago

mise_en_place 4y ago

It's more like it requires an emotional apathy or detachment. At least that's what I've heard from my friends who engage in such casual encounters.

babelfish 4y ago

sushxbehshx 4y ago
bravetraveler 4y ago
I must assume to share an opinion, what a silly question
randomhodler84 4y ago
That good quality proofed print journalism is rare, and the New Yorker produces quality content. I would agree and liked their message.

pjbeam 4y ago

I took that turn of phrase to mean something akin to the detachment she felt/feels to life. The whole article read to me like an ode to post post modern drifting in and out of superficial encounters. I ended up reading the whole thing while waiting to see if there was going to be a prod issue tonight. I'm definitely not the New Yorker's target audience.

pseudalopex 4y ago

> Sounds like the writer is trying to ascribe some kind of moral superiority to enjoying non-vanilla casual sex. Sounds more like contrast to other hookup apps.

jfabre 4y ago

A Hookup App for the Emotionally Jaded

nico 4y ago

> The root cause is unknown. Anecdata: My grandpa had 9 kids. When asked for the reason, he would say that in his times there was no TV. Now we have computers, tablets, phones and thousands of ways of consuming content. Almost everyone is addicted to their phones. I wouldn’t be surprised if we are just having a lot less human interaction, because we are preferring our devices. In fact right now I’m writing this comment while I have family around me to interact with. And they are all on their screens as well. We are not interacting, even though some of us are in the same room. Edit: removed my uninformed comment about the Uvalde police officer

lazide 4y ago
In many ways, relationships are 'paid for' with attention and time. We're spending most of that attention and time elsewhere now, and so relationships... just don't happen more often.
rootusrootus 4y ago
> One of the Uvalde officers was checking his phone The one whose wife, a teacher, was injured and dying? That doesn’t seem like a case of phone addiction.
SPBesui 4y ago
> One of the Uvalde officers was checking his phone with an ongoing shooting right next to him. If you’re talking about the one with the Punisher lock screen, I’m pretty sure his wife was contacting him telling him she’d been shot and was dying. AFAIK he wasn’t just “checking his phone” out of boredom.
7speter 4y ago
I really don't think the summation of human interaction is the number of kids you end up having with a mate/partner/spouse, but maybe I'm wrong.
throw_xxx_rated 4y ago
> Anecdata: My grandpa had 9 kids. When asked for the reason, he would say that in his times there was no TV. You realize this is of course a joke? Every country in the world decreases birthrate as their socio-economic stability increases, because in part they no longer have to rely on having lots of kids to take care of them when they are old. The rest of your comment goes almost exactly against the story that is linked? That is about how technology is making it a lot easier for people to connect in person? It frustrates me that this thoughtless conservatism goes unchallenged on HN.

bradlys 4y ago

Root cause unknown but we know where people are meeting more and more. It's 1) online dating and 2) bars/clubs. Everything else individually is <10% of couples and keeps only getting smaller. Physical attractiveness is about all that matters in those venues. Your average man is not considered physically attractive to almost any women these days. So, is it a surprise that sex is going down when the only ways of meeting are relying on physical attraction are going up?

presentation 4y ago

I respect nonheteronormativity but do get annoyed by how people get on a high horse about it and talk like they’re a higher evolved life form as a result of not being straight. I can’t be the only one who’s irritated by it.

rayiner 4y ago

From the article: > This was one way to make my unwanted future tolerable, to at least make it interesting for myself: to pretend that there was such a possibility as a new kind of person in a new kind of world. I gotta say, the self awareness is refreshing.

brigandish 4y ago

> Let me first say: impeccable article from The New Yorker. It's the only mainstream bastion of proper editing and spelling left (maybe The Economist, too). I don't think I've ever found a typo in their articles; as opposed to CNN/WaPo/NYT/FOX where I find typos and grammar errors routinely (even on their front pages). The Guardian has the nickname Grauniad (coined by Private Eye, a far better publication) because of its frequent spelling errors. I had a girlfriend who became a sub-editor, and she was told not to use a spellchecker because it would lead to negligence and hence, mistakes. I understand their logic but I think it's wrong, just use all the tools at your disposal and be diligent.