4 ms·

Throwaway account for obvious reasons I'm on Feeld and wow the headline for article is a weird take. Compared to Tinder and Bumble there aren't many people (w

Throwaway account for obvious reasons I'm on Feeld and wow the headline for article is a weird take. Compared to Tinder and Bumble there aren't many people (which isn't surprising) and it's very explicitly about non-vanilla sex, and I would never have thought that "emotionally mature" would characterize the people on it. I'm in my 40s and I have trouble finding people my age. It's ok if you want to find a rope bunny or something like that though. When I was in a relationship we tried it for threesomes and TBH had more luck with that on Tinder. Also the "cores" concept is just strange. Why did they choose the cities they did? In Australia you can see who is in Melbourne but not Sydney (And Sydney is kind of an iconic gay city, which has a lot of cross over into kink).

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
throw_xxx_rated 4y ago
Having said that - while I remain critical of the headline - the article is quite good (hey it's a NewYorker article so it's long). I do think it reflects the author's experience a lot though. It doesn't reflect what I've seen when I use the app.
- throw_xxx_rated 4y ago
  Someone asked how it compares to FetLife but deleted their question. My response was: Many more swingers. I've never tried to use FetLife as a dating app. But in my city I recognize many people across the both (so yes a lot of people into kink, which often doesn't really overlap much with the swinger community).
majormajor 4y ago
My take on the "emotionally mature" after the article + your comment is "mature enough to come out and state what you want if you want something non-vanilla." Never used Feeld, not in the market at the moment, but I never saw anyone on Tinder who put any kinks up front.
- phkahler 4y ago
  >> "mature enough to come out and state what you want if you want something non-vanilla." That can be a sign of vulnerability, or something more along the lines of defiance. One is more mature, the other is quite the opposite.
superhnthrowlol 4y ago
Well clearly I need a throw away also. Also an Australian in late 40's. There was a golden age a while back using websites such as AMM for hookups and threesomes, and Fetlife was unusually great for kink. I basically just listed myself as a male into needle play (with equipment) and LOTS of girls actually came to me. I would get messages asking if my lab was real and when they could visit. Which is a completely contrast to anything you'd see today. Fetlife really died. The vast majority of female accounts have some variation of "if you'd like to talk to me more, subscribe to my Onlyfans". I opened my inbox today and clicked on the profiles of girls that messaged me years ago, they've all left the site, and you absolutely can't replicate that experience on Tinder.
- throw_xxx_rated 4y ago
  Um this is the golden age right now. I'm a middle age balding white guy and I can find more women who want me to top them on Tinder (let alone Feeld!) than I can handle. If you don't believe me, post a pic of some shibari and see what happens (assuming you have normal Tinder profile with face pics and you don't seem too weird). I'm sure you'd find the same thing. Fetlife is in trouble because of the combination of Facebook (which you can find groups for if your kink is less challenging that needle play!) and OF which causes so much spamming.
  - athrowaway223 4y ago
    Absolutely lol, I joke with my girlfriend that 50 shades of gray was the best thing to ever happen for my sex life. I had a Tinder profile with some kink stuff in my bio, my collection of gear/toys and (with her permission) a technically SFW picture from a previous encounter of a girl tied up and suspended. Went from a few matches a week to getting literally dozens a day as soon as I added that stuff to my profile, my current girlfriend being one of them actually.
    - throw_xxx_rated 4y ago
      Wow that rope is amazing! How did you learn to do that? :) I don't even particularly enjoy shibari. But a pic of a single column on an arm or something is like a shibboleth that unlocks a whole world...
potsandpans 4y ago
Not even going to make a throwaway. was intrigued by the article, dled it, set up a profile. Was excited to experience this sexual liberation where I could perhaps be an atypical cis guy... It's just tinder for couples and kinks. The rest is extremely oversold. Glad the author got so much value from it, but what a disappointment!

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[deleted]

throw_xxx_rated 4y ago

Having said that - while I remain critical of the headline - the article is quite good (hey it's a NewYorker article so it's long). I do think it reflects the author's experience a lot though. It doesn't reflect what I've seen when I use the app.

throw_xxx_rated 4y ago
Someone asked how it compares to FetLife but deleted their question. My response was: Many more swingers. I've never tried to use FetLife as a dating app. But in my city I recognize many people across the both (so yes a lot of people into kink, which often doesn't really overlap much with the swinger community).

majormajor 4y ago

My take on the "emotionally mature" after the article + your comment is "mature enough to come out and state what you want if you want something non-vanilla." Never used Feeld, not in the market at the moment, but I never saw anyone on Tinder who put any kinks up front.

phkahler 4y ago
>> "mature enough to come out and state what you want if you want something non-vanilla." That can be a sign of vulnerability, or something more along the lines of defiance. One is more mature, the other is quite the opposite.

superhnthrowlol 4y ago

Well clearly I need a throw away also. Also an Australian in late 40's. There was a golden age a while back using websites such as AMM for hookups and threesomes, and Fetlife was unusually great for kink. I basically just listed myself as a male into needle play (with equipment) and LOTS of girls actually came to me. I would get messages asking if my lab was real and when they could visit. Which is a completely contrast to anything you'd see today. Fetlife really died. The vast majority of female accounts have some variation of "if you'd like to talk to me more, subscribe to my Onlyfans". I opened my inbox today and clicked on the profiles of girls that messaged me years ago, they've all left the site, and you absolutely can't replicate that experience on Tinder.

throw_xxx_rated 4y ago
Um this is the golden age right now. I'm a middle age balding white guy and I can find more women who want me to top them on Tinder (let alone Feeld!) than I can handle. If you don't believe me, post a pic of some shibari and see what happens (assuming you have normal Tinder profile with face pics and you don't seem too weird). I'm sure you'd find the same thing. Fetlife is in trouble because of the combination of Facebook (which you can find groups for if your kink is less challenging that needle play!) and OF which causes so much spamming.
- athrowaway223 4y ago
  Absolutely lol, I joke with my girlfriend that 50 shades of gray was the best thing to ever happen for my sex life. I had a Tinder profile with some kink stuff in my bio, my collection of gear/toys and (with her permission) a technically SFW picture from a previous encounter of a girl tied up and suspended. Went from a few matches a week to getting literally dozens a day as soon as I added that stuff to my profile, my current girlfriend being one of them actually.
  - throw_xxx_rated 4y ago
    Wow that rope is amazing! How did you learn to do that? :) I don't even particularly enjoy shibari. But a pic of a single column on an arm or something is like a shibboleth that unlocks a whole world...

potsandpans 4y ago

Not even going to make a throwaway. was intrigued by the article, dled it, set up a profile. Was excited to experience this sexual liberation where I could perhaps be an atypical cis guy... It's just tinder for couples and kinks. The rest is extremely oversold. Glad the author got so much value from it, but what a disappointment!