5 ms·

So what happened?

by Hilyin 15y ago

So what happened?

Natsu 15y ago
It's probably better not to ask...
deleted 15y ago
[deleted]
dsr_ 15y ago
While lots of us are nosy enough to want to know, the answer is that it isn't any of our business. If she wants to say, she will... presumably after she gets out of the hospital.
- samstave 15y ago
  OMG EVERYBODY HALP!!! MY FRIEND IS MISSING. [everybody attempts to help] OMG EVERYBODY THAN KYOU SO MUCH MY FRIEND IS SAFE!!! [everybody: YAY! Gald to hear it - what happened!] NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS YOU NOSY JERKS! ---- Yeah screw that. People will feel less inclined to assist - because they feel that they are an excluded outsider. If you are not told the outcome/reason for the situation in the first place - you are then further removed from the person/situation in question. Thus, you will have less emotional tie with the situation. Without any emotional tie - you will not help situations like this in the future. The call for help is highly emotional "Our friend, and trusted colleague, who is a great and nice person is missing" -- you feel compassion here, as you would hate togo missing yourself - and you know how great you are as a person. So, you'll assist in this case through empathy. Take that empathy away, and it gets worse for everyone.
  - dsr_ 15y ago
    First, I don't work for Technorati. I didn't call for help but I'm glad the community responded. Second, I have enough empathy and imagination to think about how she might be feeling... and in none of the circumstances I can imagine does anyone owe you, random community member, anything more than the exact "Thank you! She's safe!" you mentioned above. I can get my empathy fix just fine from that.
    - samstave 15y ago
      My point was that this only will work for so long... you make calls to the community for help, people provide that help based on their empathy. If you take away any and all emotional payment for what you receive - people will be desensitized to such requests and will not respond. Classic "boy who called wolf" syndrome
  - mattdeboard 15y ago
    When someone asks for help, you either give it, or you don't. Your aid ought not be contingent on what you get out of it.
    - ars 15y ago
      It shouldn't be. But it is. People want to get "paid" in information.
      - scott_s 15y ago
        Yes. And empathetic yet rational beings can then remind themselves that they have no right and no need to have the information, and can quietly let it pass.
        ars 15y ago
        Of course. But they still want it. A nice person would ask, but not press the point. A rare person would not even ask. And some will demand to know.
        scott_s 15y ago
        Some won't ask. We can't control the world, but we can influence this community. And I think it would be nice if people here chose to be empathetic and rational human beings.
      - mrleinad 15y ago
        No, that's just you.
      - Joakal 15y ago
        It doesn't help that the requests for help were made to sites like HN where the demographics of those sites tend to consist of information-curious people.
      - droithomme 15y ago
        You believe in a world governed by profit and financial transactions. The real world is not like that. Once invited to join a tribe by requesting assistance for someone, others who have joined that tribe by becoming concerned and investing time into worry and concern are not expecting to be paid, they are merely wanting to know what happened to the person they have been ASKED to care about. It is exceptionally cynical and economically oriented to cast requested concern for a fellow human into something it is not.
  - kevinpet 15y ago
    This is somewhat poorly stated, but a valid point. I'd phrase it as someone is being asked to behave as if someone were a personal friend, then asked to instantly stop behaving as if a personal friend. That's jarring.
  - droithomme 15y ago
    I hadn't thought of that, but I think you have a valid point. I remember being asked to help save a dehydrated kitten. From that point, being asked, forward, I was committed to concern for the kitten's welfare. It is human nature that once you ask for help you are asking others to be concerned. It is not reasonable then to not expect others to continue to be emotionally invested and concerned.
akeck 15y ago
If you are on HN and work at or with said hospital, stay off these threads. Even an inadvertent indirect information slip could be enough to get you fired under HIPAA and other similar statues.

So what happened?

by Hilyin 15y ago

So what happened?

Natsu 15y ago

It's probably better not to ask...

deleted 15y ago

[deleted]

dsr_ 15y ago

While lots of us are nosy enough to want to know, the answer is that it isn't any of our business. If she wants to say, she will... presumably after she gets out of the hospital.

samstave 15y ago
OMG EVERYBODY HALP!!! MY FRIEND IS MISSING. [everybody attempts to help] OMG EVERYBODY THAN KYOU SO MUCH MY FRIEND IS SAFE!!! [everybody: YAY! Gald to hear it - what happened!] NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS YOU NOSY JERKS! ---- Yeah screw that. People will feel less inclined to assist - because they feel that they are an excluded outsider. If you are not told the outcome/reason for the situation in the first place - you are then further removed from the person/situation in question. Thus, you will have less emotional tie with the situation. Without any emotional tie - you will not help situations like this in the future. The call for help is highly emotional "Our friend, and trusted colleague, who is a great and nice person is missing" -- you feel compassion here, as you would hate togo missing yourself - and you know how great you are as a person. So, you'll assist in this case through empathy. Take that empathy away, and it gets worse for everyone.
- dsr_ 15y ago
  First, I don't work for Technorati. I didn't call for help but I'm glad the community responded. Second, I have enough empathy and imagination to think about how she might be feeling... and in none of the circumstances I can imagine does anyone owe you, random community member, anything more than the exact "Thank you! She's safe!" you mentioned above. I can get my empathy fix just fine from that.
  - samstave 15y ago
    My point was that this only will work for so long... you make calls to the community for help, people provide that help based on their empathy. If you take away any and all emotional payment for what you receive - people will be desensitized to such requests and will not respond. Classic "boy who called wolf" syndrome
- mattdeboard 15y ago
  When someone asks for help, you either give it, or you don't. Your aid ought not be contingent on what you get out of it.
  - ars 15y ago
    It shouldn't be. But it is. People want to get "paid" in information.
    - scott_s 15y ago
      Yes. And empathetic yet rational beings can then remind themselves that they have no right and no need to have the information, and can quietly let it pass.
      - ars 15y ago
        Of course. But they still want it. A nice person would ask, but not press the point. A rare person would not even ask. And some will demand to know.
        scott_s 15y ago
        Some won't ask. We can't control the world, but we can influence this community. And I think it would be nice if people here chose to be empathetic and rational human beings.
    - mrleinad 15y ago
      No, that's just you.
    - Joakal 15y ago
      It doesn't help that the requests for help were made to sites like HN where the demographics of those sites tend to consist of information-curious people.
    - droithomme 15y ago
      You believe in a world governed by profit and financial transactions. The real world is not like that. Once invited to join a tribe by requesting assistance for someone, others who have joined that tribe by becoming concerned and investing time into worry and concern are not expecting to be paid, they are merely wanting to know what happened to the person they have been ASKED to care about. It is exceptionally cynical and economically oriented to cast requested concern for a fellow human into something it is not.
- kevinpet 15y ago
  This is somewhat poorly stated, but a valid point. I'd phrase it as someone is being asked to behave as if someone were a personal friend, then asked to instantly stop behaving as if a personal friend. That's jarring.
- droithomme 15y ago
  I hadn't thought of that, but I think you have a valid point. I remember being asked to help save a dehydrated kitten. From that point, being asked, forward, I was committed to concern for the kitten's welfare. It is human nature that once you ask for help you are asking others to be concerned. It is not reasonable then to not expect others to continue to be emotionally invested and concerned.

akeck 15y ago

If you are on HN and work at or with said hospital, stay off these threads. Even an inadvertent indirect information slip could be enough to get you fired under HIPAA and other similar statues.