See if you can start moderating by selectively telling the joke to yourself and enjoying it without sharing it or laughing in the moment. The instinct and thoug

See if you can start moderating by selectively telling the joke to yourself and enjoying it without sharing it or laughing in the moment. The instinct and thought is not bad but you should be able to not let it control your actions. Sometimes it's best for a one-person audience. If it's easier said than done, maybe getting it out by journaling as proposed by dmfdmf could be helpful. The internal conflict and dissonance is what seems or could become problematic. I'd also say that none of us know you personally and don't know to what point this is perceived as a problem by those you interact with. I've personally had a coworker where joking too much was problematic and part of a pattern that made things not work out in the end with the team and company. If you have a coworker or supervisor you trust and knows you well, you could try to probe them and see what they have to say.