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I usually think this revolves around coming to terms with reality. For example, when you're actively looking for a something (like a cofounder, soulmate etc) yo

I usually think this revolves around coming to terms with reality. For example, when you're actively looking for a something (like a cofounder, soulmate etc) you have a mental list of what this person "looks like" or the skills they need to have. When you find someone you match them up against this list of requirements that you created. Inevitably they won't have every skill or characteristic you _think_ this person needs to have so you'll pass. BUT when you stop actively that list of hard requirements goes away. You've given up looking for the unicorn that you invented and now when you find someone close enough you're willing to "settle." That settling isn't because you didn't find the unicorn, it's giving into the reality that the unicorn didn't ever exist. As the philosopher Sir Michael Philip Jagger said, "...But if you try sometimes, well, you just might find you get what you need"

pg_1234 4y ago
It's also because others will keep holding out for more if they think they can get it, even if what's currently on offer is a good deal for them. Once you give up it becomes clear that any negotiation (as they saw it) is over and they need to scramble to get the last terms offered. You can work this against them, I don't recommend this for relationships, don't build them on deception, but corporate power games are another matter: - Start super enthusiastic and they think "I've got them hooked, now lets run the game and see what concessions we can get". - Play along a bit, gather information, and then, without breaking comms, "give up". - Now it's them that's hooked, they're invested in getting a "win" which they can't get if you walk away, so if they can rationalize it as a win, they need to "seal the deal".