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I wonder if there's a degree of FOMO there. People feel like they must participate in everything, so when there's something new that they didn't discover and r

by ratww 4y ago

I wonder if there's a degree of FOMO there. People feel like they must participate in everything, so when there's something new that they didn't discover and research first, they compensate by doing some armchair criticism. If it were their had discovered it they'd say it's the coolest ever. It's funny, I thought this was an internet phenomena, but I've been seeing this all the time in meetups lately. Someone presents something that clearly works fine for their use case, and someone takes the mic to ask a question but eviscerates it instead. I also remember this with teenagers and music: the assholes always auto-dislike things others bring, and criticise the stupidest things, but if they rediscover it themselves it's the best band in the world. Myself, I prefer pretending I already know the stuff being presented. ;)

mattlondon 4y ago
I think this is a sort of non-humility thing. A humble person with humility would react with something like "oh cool! I had no idea this existed but I love it! Thanks for sharing this with me!" I have found myself on the other side of the coin many times. I have researched something, or invested a lot of time/energy/money in something and then someone who I assume (unconsciously or not) has not done these things and I instantly dismiss. E.g. if my mum turns up one day with a new phone and tries to tell me how great it is, there is no way (in my closed mind opinion) that she would have found something that I was not already aware of and using etc - what I picked and what I use is clearly superior for reasons X Y and Z and I will sub-conciously reassure myself that I am correct by pointing out why she is wrong. I guess it is a sort of pride/arrogance (and maybe even tribalism) thing - a sort of "you think you know something, but I know better than you, so I will explain to you how you are wrong as I know more than you about this. I am right and you are wrong, and I need to prove the point so you know that you are wrong" etc. Not just tech - people will do this about cars, sports, tools - anything. I try to stop myself being in this mindset as much as possible, and try to be more open to what others suggest.

by ratww 4y ago

mattlondon 4y ago

I think this is a sort of non-humility thing. A humble person with humility would react with something like "oh cool! I had no idea this existed but I love it! Thanks for sharing this with me!" I have found myself on the other side of the coin many times. I have researched something, or invested a lot of time/energy/money in something and then someone who I assume (unconsciously or not) has not done these things and I instantly dismiss. E.g. if my mum turns up one day with a new phone and tries to tell me how great it is, there is no way (in my closed mind opinion) that she would have found something that I was not already aware of and using etc - what I picked and what I use is clearly superior for reasons X Y and Z and I will sub-conciously reassure myself that I am correct by pointing out why she is wrong. I guess it is a sort of pride/arrogance (and maybe even tribalism) thing - a sort of "you think you know something, but I know better than you, so I will explain to you how you are wrong as I know more than you about this. I am right and you are wrong, and I need to prove the point so you know that you are wrong" etc. Not just tech - people will do this about cars, sports, tools - anything. I try to stop myself being in this mindset as much as possible, and try to be more open to what others suggest.