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> I understand the argument of being professional, but it's very draining to have to absorb personal attacks and ill-mannered outbursts while never being able

> I understand the argument of being professional, but it's very draining to have to absorb personal attacks and ill-mannered outbursts while never being able to respond in kind. I used to agonize when I'd get feedback like this, rude or not. It is emotionally draining, but I always tried to extract something from it. As mentioned elsewhere, I've reacted poorly in the past and really regret it. I will point out that this really isn't "in kind." The email response was, but publicly posting it and letting other users know how similar emails will be treated is an escalation.

Kinrany 4y ago
In what sense is it an escalation?
- nkozyra 4y ago
  In the sense that it goes from private communication to public.
  - ClumsyPilot 4y ago
    that would only be true if he named and identified the guy
  - samus 4y ago
    It's a hallmark of entitlement to expect abusive communication to stay private. Not publishing the name is a good idea though.
    - nkozyra 4y ago
      > It's a hallmark of entitlement Please. If you email me - regardless of content - the expectation is we're having private communication.
      - samus 4y ago
        When you email me, regardless of topic, the expectation is a minimal level of manners and politeness. Yes, privacy too, but if it is actually a bug report, there is no such expectation because the content could in principle end up in a bug tracker.
duxup 4y ago
> but publicly posting it and letting other users know how similar emails will be treated is an escalation That's an escalation? Nobody knows to Tom is so he's all good. Everyone else now knows what the dev puts up with and how they feel about it. Maybe someone knows now that being a jerk over email won't get them what they want? I don't really see any escalation here.
hypfer 4y ago
> will be treated is an escalation. Yes but what else should you do? Just let it bottle up inside you? Why? Because you were dumb enough to release software as open source? Does publishing software as open source mean that you have to stop having any emotions?
luma 4y ago
I'd call it "setting boundaries". The author has zero reason to accept anyone's bullshit for a passion project that they give away for free. If author wants to put users who do not understand this dynamic on blast, that is 100% understable and I fully support their response. There are a lot of people here who work in a business setting and are conflating the sorts of behaviors that can be expected in a paid setting with those more appropriate to a gratis effort.

Kinrany 4y ago

In what sense is it an escalation?

nkozyra 4y ago
In the sense that it goes from private communication to public.
- ClumsyPilot 4y ago
  that would only be true if he named and identified the guy
- samus 4y ago
  It's a hallmark of entitlement to expect abusive communication to stay private. Not publishing the name is a good idea though.
  - nkozyra 4y ago
    > It's a hallmark of entitlement Please. If you email me - regardless of content - the expectation is we're having private communication.
    - samus 4y ago
      When you email me, regardless of topic, the expectation is a minimal level of manners and politeness. Yes, privacy too, but if it is actually a bug report, there is no such expectation because the content could in principle end up in a bug tracker.

duxup 4y ago

> but publicly posting it and letting other users know how similar emails will be treated is an escalation That's an escalation? Nobody knows to Tom is so he's all good. Everyone else now knows what the dev puts up with and how they feel about it. Maybe someone knows now that being a jerk over email won't get them what they want? I don't really see any escalation here.

hypfer 4y ago

> will be treated is an escalation. Yes but what else should you do? Just let it bottle up inside you? Why? Because you were dumb enough to release software as open source? Does publishing software as open source mean that you have to stop having any emotions?

luma 4y ago

I'd call it "setting boundaries". The author has zero reason to accept anyone's bullshit for a passion project that they give away for free. If author wants to put users who do not understand this dynamic on blast, that is 100% understable and I fully support their response. There are a lot of people here who work in a business setting and are conflating the sorts of behaviors that can be expected in a paid setting with those more appropriate to a gratis effort.