3 ms·

If you tell a kid that words shouldn't hurt them, but words do hurt them, then what other conclusion can they come to other than that they're emotionally defici

If you tell a kid that words shouldn't hurt them, but words do hurt them, then what other conclusion can they come to other than that they're emotionally deficient? Kids trust their parents. If parents say the world works in a certain way, then kids will believe that. Kids can have trouble reconciling things when a their observations disagree with what a trusted parent has told them. It's better to instill high self-esteem in a kid through positive reenforcement. When the kid is called stupid at school, the words don't hurt them because the kid knows they are, in fact, not stupid.

s1artibartfast 4y ago
Like I said, it's not a full instruction set. It is a reminder that self-esteem should not be based on the opinions of others. More clearly needs to be done to instill self-esteem. That doesn't mean it's not a helpful reminder of the concept when one encounters derogatory feedback
- atwood22 4y ago
  You keep saying "it's a reminder not a full instruction set." But what is the difference between a reminder and an instruction set? You're not responding to the main issue, which is that this "reminder" is incongruous with how the kid feels.
  - s1artibartfast 4y ago
    I'm not sure what part is confusing. Would you take the same concerns about telling a child: "When someone says something that makes you feel bad, remember the conversations we about how just because someone says something, it doesn't mean it is true. People will say things to try to hurt you, but they are just being mean and it isn't true. It reflects on them as a person, not you as a person. However, if someone physically hurts you, this is different." In my mind, "sticks & stones" is the same thing, but shorter and more memorable. >what is the difference between a reminder and an instruction set? Completeness. Question: How to find the direction of magnetic field induced by a current. Reminder: Use the right hand rule Instruction: Detail on how to use the right hand rule and what it means.
    - atwood22 4y ago
      Your longer explanation would be much more meaningful to a child. Using your analogy, telling a child to "use the right hand rule" before you've explained (and they've internalized) the relationship between current and a magnetic field will not be helpful.
      - s1artibartfast 4y ago
        I agree. I never intended to say is is a complete solution or a substitute for everything that goes into raising a child. That is why I say it is a reminder. Reminders, mantras, and catch phrases are useful to help internalize behavior.

s1artibartfast 4y ago

Like I said, it's not a full instruction set. It is a reminder that self-esteem should not be based on the opinions of others. More clearly needs to be done to instill self-esteem. That doesn't mean it's not a helpful reminder of the concept when one encounters derogatory feedback

atwood22 4y ago
You keep saying "it's a reminder not a full instruction set." But what is the difference between a reminder and an instruction set? You're not responding to the main issue, which is that this "reminder" is incongruous with how the kid feels.
- s1artibartfast 4y ago
  I'm not sure what part is confusing. Would you take the same concerns about telling a child: "When someone says something that makes you feel bad, remember the conversations we about how just because someone says something, it doesn't mean it is true. People will say things to try to hurt you, but they are just being mean and it isn't true. It reflects on them as a person, not you as a person. However, if someone physically hurts you, this is different." In my mind, "sticks & stones" is the same thing, but shorter and more memorable. >what is the difference between a reminder and an instruction set? Completeness. Question: How to find the direction of magnetic field induced by a current. Reminder: Use the right hand rule Instruction: Detail on how to use the right hand rule and what it means.
  - atwood22 4y ago
    Your longer explanation would be much more meaningful to a child. Using your analogy, telling a child to "use the right hand rule" before you've explained (and they've internalized) the relationship between current and a magnetic field will not be helpful.
    - s1artibartfast 4y ago
      I agree. I never intended to say is is a complete solution or a substitute for everything that goes into raising a child. That is why I say it is a reminder. Reminders, mantras, and catch phrases are useful to help internalize behavior.