You can dig yourself out of this hole. It's a lot of work. You'll have to do things that are challenging, which make you uncomfortable. I know you can. Asking

You can dig yourself out of this hole. It's a lot of work. You'll have to do things that are challenging, which make you uncomfortable. I know you can. Asking for help is a huge step. You clearly want to get to a better place. -- Ya, you'll need a lawyer for SSDI. I solicited referrals, contacted about 20, interviewed a handful, and then ultimately picked this one https://www.ddmglaw.com/about/ https://www.ddmglaw.com/about/ Look for someone similar close to you. Though everything's done remote now, so location might not matter. You probably qualify for Medicaid too. Ditto food stamps. Contact everyone to arrange late payments. You'll be surprised how accomodating some will be. For instance, I paused my mortgage for 9 months, and with the COVID carve outs, it was just some forms. Your utilities might have special rates for low income. In my case, again, it was just some forms. -- As for pain... All I can say is don't accept "no" or "i don't know". Someone somewhere has the answers you need. Last year I enrolled in Swedish Hospital's Pain Services program. It covered a huge amount of material. Stuff like tai chi, breathing, graded motor imagery, the latest in pain science, and more. I nicknamed the program "Pain College". Pain College worked for me. Amazing. Beforehand, I would have bet against it. Here it is. https://www.swedish.org/services/pain-services https://www.swedish.org/services/pain-services Don't judge them by their web site; they have no control over it. And it certainly does not reflect what they actually do. When I first saw it, I thought "ya ya ya, I've done all that already." I'm glad I enrolled anyway. I'll checkout all the other tips and links. My next hurdle is some myofascial pain. I'm always learning new stuff to try.