4 ms·

Although I agree with it I think that small towns have something that is lost in big cities which is the sense of community, and that is simply because in towns

Although I agree with it I think that small towns have something that is lost in big cities which is the sense of community, and that is simply because in towns you know every single person that has some impact in your daily live. My family is from a small town who moved to the city right before I was born and there is something my mom said to me when I was a kid that got stuck in my mind which is the awareness of death, in big cities is like people don't die because you don't know about it. Although it may sound macabre I think that knowing about death helps me better understand being alive.

skeeter2020 4y ago
smaller communities exist in big cities too. They might be neighbourhoods like a small town, or interest, cause or activity-based. The trick is not to defer to government to provide them for you, which I think is harder in big centers.
- InefficientRed 4y ago
  Harkening back to the GP post: Mr. Rogers Neighborhood was based on a city neighborhood, not a small town.
  - louky 4y ago
    Seasame Street, as well.
- orzig 4y ago
  This is very true - some apartment buildings have great community (of course, plenty don’t). Demographics certainly drive part of the distinction, but just having a person step up and do the barest amount of leadership is also critical.
formerkrogemp 4y ago
> Although I agree with it I think that small towns have something that is lost in big cities which is the sense of community, and that is simply because in towns you know every single person that has some impact in your daily live. My family is from a small town who moved to the city right before I was born and there is something my mom said to me when I was a kid that got stuck in my mind which is the awareness of death, in big cities is like people don't die because you don't know about it. Cities have plentiful and varied communities, but it's easier to be lost in the masses. Many people lose empathy amongst so many other humans, or so some claim. I was raised in a small town. Every coin has its other side. "Every single person has an impact on your life." Certainly if the community disapproves of your appearance, skin color, or religion, they can ostracize you, they'll each take turns with their individual impact to turn your life to shit. Small towns can be bucolic, beautiful, and communal, however your mileage may vary dramatically from in-group to in-group and tribe to tribe. Beware your own scarlet letter, whether it's your skin color, religion, or otherwise. > Although it may sound macabre I think that knowing about death helps me better understand being alive. Wise words.
- BurningFrog 4y ago
  I think it's a basic feature of human nature that every ingroup has an outgroup.
  - mlyle 4y ago
    Sure. But in a big city, you'll find that groups you're "out" of don't affect you as much. In a small town, if the town is the ingroup, and you're the outgroup... you're going to have a bad time.
    - BurningFrog 4y ago
      Yeah, I think that's the pro & con of living in a "real community".
- melenaboija 4y ago
  > Small towns can be bucolic, beautiful, and communal, however your mileage may vary dramatically from in-group to in-group and tribe to tribe. Beware your own scarlet letter, whether it's your skin color, religion, or otherwise Totally agree and that is probably one of the reasons I never went back to my town. Sense of belonging and tribalism definitely comes with drawbacks but also builds a feeling of having to stay together to move forward which is what makes that things like the post happen.
cgriswald 4y ago
That sense of community comes roaring back in times of calamity. I've only ever lived in cities or suburbs. During a major calamity, those of us in the city drove out to a small town that was nearly wiped out and gave supplies, money, and time. When our own city was hit by an extremely damaging and deadly storm, we took care of our neighbors (generators for refrigerators, places to sleep, help with repairs, food, etc), even if we had just met them for the first time.
cortesoft 4y ago
The downside of the small town community is if you are not accepted in it. There is no alternative. In cities, you have many communities, and if you aren’t accepted in one you can find another.
- redtexture 4y ago
  A fishing community / island in Maine I know of, forced a thief and their family off the island by completely withdrawing all assistance. You cannot live on an island in Maine without community

skeeter2020 4y ago

smaller communities exist in big cities too. They might be neighbourhoods like a small town, or interest, cause or activity-based. The trick is not to defer to government to provide them for you, which I think is harder in big centers.

InefficientRed 4y ago
Harkening back to the GP post: Mr. Rogers Neighborhood was based on a city neighborhood, not a small town.
- louky 4y ago
  Seasame Street, as well.
orzig 4y ago
This is very true - some apartment buildings have great community (of course, plenty don’t). Demographics certainly drive part of the distinction, but just having a person step up and do the barest amount of leadership is also critical.

formerkrogemp 4y ago

> Although I agree with it I think that small towns have something that is lost in big cities which is the sense of community, and that is simply because in towns you know every single person that has some impact in your daily live. My family is from a small town who moved to the city right before I was born and there is something my mom said to me when I was a kid that got stuck in my mind which is the awareness of death, in big cities is like people don't die because you don't know about it. Cities have plentiful and varied communities, but it's easier to be lost in the masses. Many people lose empathy amongst so many other humans, or so some claim. I was raised in a small town. Every coin has its other side. "Every single person has an impact on your life." Certainly if the community disapproves of your appearance, skin color, or religion, they can ostracize you, they'll each take turns with their individual impact to turn your life to shit. Small towns can be bucolic, beautiful, and communal, however your mileage may vary dramatically from in-group to in-group and tribe to tribe. Beware your own scarlet letter, whether it's your skin color, religion, or otherwise. > Although it may sound macabre I think that knowing about death helps me better understand being alive. Wise words.

BurningFrog 4y ago
I think it's a basic feature of human nature that every ingroup has an outgroup.
- mlyle 4y ago
  Sure. But in a big city, you'll find that groups you're "out" of don't affect you as much. In a small town, if the town is the ingroup, and you're the outgroup... you're going to have a bad time.
  - BurningFrog 4y ago
    Yeah, I think that's the pro & con of living in a "real community".
melenaboija 4y ago
> Small towns can be bucolic, beautiful, and communal, however your mileage may vary dramatically from in-group to in-group and tribe to tribe. Beware your own scarlet letter, whether it's your skin color, religion, or otherwise Totally agree and that is probably one of the reasons I never went back to my town. Sense of belonging and tribalism definitely comes with drawbacks but also builds a feeling of having to stay together to move forward which is what makes that things like the post happen.

cgriswald 4y ago

That sense of community comes roaring back in times of calamity. I've only ever lived in cities or suburbs. During a major calamity, those of us in the city drove out to a small town that was nearly wiped out and gave supplies, money, and time. When our own city was hit by an extremely damaging and deadly storm, we took care of our neighbors (generators for refrigerators, places to sleep, help with repairs, food, etc), even if we had just met them for the first time.

cortesoft 4y ago

The downside of the small town community is if you are not accepted in it. There is no alternative. In cities, you have many communities, and if you aren’t accepted in one you can find another.

redtexture 4y ago
A fishing community / island in Maine I know of, forced a thief and their family off the island by completely withdrawing all assistance. You cannot live on an island in Maine without community