If we're going with secular books, I'd say 33 Strategies of War. It misses many of the criteria above, but it is rereadable. It's probably not the kind of book

If we're going with secular books, I'd say 33 Strategies of War. It misses many of the criteria above, but it is rereadable. It's probably not the kind of book I'd want to read for the rest of my life; I can imagine becoming toxic and paranoid from that. Other philosophical books also come close, especially on information density. But most seem to be missing something. Maybe a hack would be reading a book on writing essays and then learning via writing.