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This model is pretty ham-fisted. The "Blinds" are described as a cult, and a permanent status that endures any level of neglect or separation. In reality, it'

This model is pretty ham-fisted. The "Blinds" are described as a cult, and a permanent status that endures any level of neglect or separation. In reality, it's extremely common for your unconditional love BFF's to drift away as the relationship atrophies. It's called your 30's and 40's. MUST the third group of "Shapeshifters" ALL be Machiavellian? Careerists, seeking only to use you for your position and influence? Does this category even exist then, for the overwhelming majority of us who don't have much position or influence? This sounds like category for managers and LinkedIn junkies, not individual contributors and normal humans. Where is the "Casual Acquaintance" category? The one that honestly describes 90% or more of our interpersonal relationships? The scale REALLY goes from blind devotion, to deep respect for you and your values, to backstabbing work colleagues, to outright "Haters"? Nonsense.

mise_en_place 4y ago
> The "Blinds" are described as a cult, and a permanent status that endures any level of neglect or separation. In reality, it's extremely common for your unconditional love BFF's to drift away as the relationship atrophies. It's called your 30's and 40's. I agree with this sentiment. All relationships are “rational”, in the sense that there has to be some commonality between friends. For instance, a commonality I had and still have with my friend from college is talking about business/finance with. Even though the relationship has frayed due to geographic separation, the commonality still remains, making reconnecting a lot easier. On the other hand, a work colleague I used to hang out with daily, we don’t have any commonality anymore, even though geographically he lives close, like 10 mins away by highway.
bawolff 4y ago
> MUST the third group of "Shapeshifters" ALL be Machiavellian? Careerists, seeking only to use you for your position and influence? Does this category even exist then, for the overwhelming majority of us who don't have much position or influence? This sounds like category for managers and LinkedIn junkies, not individual contributors and normal humans. You don't have to be a manager to have sycophants. People can use other people for all sorts of things not just career status. E.g. money, emotional support, netflix subscription, whatever.
goldenchrome 4y ago
I agree the list is an oversimplification, but it’s largely accurate in my life. For anyone who’s not in my close circle, I am a “shapeshifter”. I try to act benevolently and seek out win-win outcomes but I always keep my hand close to my chest. I will not lose. I don’t keep any casual acquaintances unless it’s mutually beneficial. I trust people slowly and carefully, but without prejudice.

mise_en_place 4y ago

> The "Blinds" are described as a cult, and a permanent status that endures any level of neglect or separation. In reality, it's extremely common for your unconditional love BFF's to drift away as the relationship atrophies. It's called your 30's and 40's. I agree with this sentiment. All relationships are “rational”, in the sense that there has to be some commonality between friends. For instance, a commonality I had and still have with my friend from college is talking about business/finance with. Even though the relationship has frayed due to geographic separation, the commonality still remains, making reconnecting a lot easier. On the other hand, a work colleague I used to hang out with daily, we don’t have any commonality anymore, even though geographically he lives close, like 10 mins away by highway.

bawolff 4y ago

> MUST the third group of "Shapeshifters" ALL be Machiavellian? Careerists, seeking only to use you for your position and influence? Does this category even exist then, for the overwhelming majority of us who don't have much position or influence? This sounds like category for managers and LinkedIn junkies, not individual contributors and normal humans. You don't have to be a manager to have sycophants. People can use other people for all sorts of things not just career status. E.g. money, emotional support, netflix subscription, whatever.

goldenchrome 4y ago

I agree the list is an oversimplification, but it’s largely accurate in my life. For anyone who’s not in my close circle, I am a “shapeshifter”. I try to act benevolently and seek out win-win outcomes but I always keep my hand close to my chest. I will not lose. I don’t keep any casual acquaintances unless it’s mutually beneficial. I trust people slowly and carefully, but without prejudice.