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What I noticed from the sobriety community (specifically alcohol), it is important to make promises to yourself 'one day at a a time'. There is a presumed dang
by hermannj314 4y ago
What I noticed from the sobriety community (specifically alcohol), it is important to make promises to yourself 'one day at a a time'. There is a presumed danger to tying too much of your ego to the duration of your sobriety. I am not sure if it is scientifically proven, but if you relapse the assumption is you would rather have a psychology built around making the right choice today and not one built on pride of a large number of consecutive days of sobriety.
- billjings 4y agoDurable "streaks" are built on worthwhile days. Focus on the days, and the streak will take care of itself. Focus on the streak, and one day you might realize that it hasn't been worth keeping for a long, long time.
- nebyoolae 4y agoI really like this thought. Thanks for sharing.
- rendall 4y agoI've always wondered, if someone has a drink the week before getting, for example, their 10 year pin, do they not get the pin, or is there some kind of duolingo take-back?
- xanaxagoras 4y agoYou would not celebrate your 10 year anniversary, which would connote 10 years of "continuous sobriety" or 3650 days in a row without a drink.
- rjh29 4y agoPersonally if I drank once or twice within a 10 year period I'd still count it as 10 years sober. There's a big difference between a one-off 'lapse' and a 'relapse'. And I suspect a large number of '10 year sober' people have had the occasional lapse and just don't want to admit it. Put it another way, is 10 years with a few lapses worth significantly less than 10 years completely sober? Of course not. It's still a huge achievement. So why punish yourself?
- billjings 4y agoSure, but also: who cares? If you think it's worth lying about having 10 years, then why bother lying about having 10 years? In practice, milestones are more for sharing one's experience than for attaining an award. And if you slip up, telling that truth is honestly more helpful for the other person struggling to stay sober than lying to them about having 10 years.
- rjh29 4y agoYeah. Because relapsing happens to almost everyone. And even if your "sober streak" resets to zero you haven't lost your motivation to stay sober, the experience of being sober (and knowing you can cope), and the tools you've learned. You're still in a better position than before, all you need to do is get back on the horse. Fixating on a streak just makes it harder to do that.
- aaron695 4y agoChips are the opposite to this theory. You need both. The ability to not lose it all because of a break. But also a reason not to have a break.