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> I’ve deeply invested myself in therapy, support groups, meditation, dating coaching, yoga and hypnotism. I’ve known plenty of my female friends who were so a

> I’ve deeply invested myself in therapy, support groups, meditation, dating coaching, yoga and hypnotism. I’ve known plenty of my female friends who were so aggressively “fixing” and improving themselves, that they even didn’t notice how big their ego had become. Their whole life was revolving around Me Me Me, I want to be perfect, I want a perfect marriage, I want a perfect husband, I am perfect, I I I… It’s hard to explain, but from the side it was obvious for me why men kept avoiding them, which perpetuated the vicious circle of “self-improvement”. No sane man or woman would want a partner obsessed with his ego. No matter how fit, smart and beautiful the partner is. I don’t know if it has anything to do with your situation (for that I’d need to know you in person at least) — but I see the described pattern in many women (and men too) around me. So maybe it was useful for someone.

armitron 4y ago
Totally agree. It's something I noticed a lot when I was living in SV, and I think a symptom of the cultural zeitgeist combined with the notorious superficiality of the typical California crowd. My first wife's sister was a typical example, perfect on paper but a total trainwreck IRL. Her constant mindfulness retreats and yoga sessions (she was an instructor) had reinforced her self-image to such an extent that she couldn't see herself as anything but blameless in any manifest issue with another person while in reality, she was one of the worst narcissists I've ever encountered and a pathological manipulator to boot. I'm not against activities such as meditation or yoga, as long as they're framed properly. They're inherently escapist and do not magically make someone a better person.
actfrench 4y ago
Wow. Some of these comments are SO harsh. Ow.
- squintychino 4y ago
- smoovet 4y ago

armitron 4y ago

Totally agree. It's something I noticed a lot when I was living in SV, and I think a symptom of the cultural zeitgeist combined with the notorious superficiality of the typical California crowd. My first wife's sister was a typical example, perfect on paper but a total trainwreck IRL. Her constant mindfulness retreats and yoga sessions (she was an instructor) had reinforced her self-image to such an extent that she couldn't see herself as anything but blameless in any manifest issue with another person while in reality, she was one of the worst narcissists I've ever encountered and a pathological manipulator to boot. I'm not against activities such as meditation or yoga, as long as they're framed properly. They're inherently escapist and do not magically make someone a better person.

actfrench 4y ago

Wow. Some of these comments are SO harsh. Ow.

squintychino 4y ago
smoovet 4y ago