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This is actually an incredibly wonderful, very validating and encouraging response. I’ve been reading a bit about light tailed and heavy tailed systems and I t
by actfrench 4y ago
This is actually an incredibly wonderful, very validating and encouraging response.
I’ve been reading a bit about light tailed and heavy tailed systems and I think that this quite reflects the heavy -tailed nature of dating but also the magic and possibility .
I actually had a similar experience with meeting my first boyfriend on bumble and while he ultimately decided he didn’t want to have a child with me, it still makes me believe what you say is try and recognize it.
This does help and Thanks for the encouragement to keep moving forward.
Thank you so so much. And I’m so very happy for you that you found your true love. It’s probably also because you and your wife have big hearts that are ready to give and receive that kind of love. Your loving spirit is certainly reflected here in this generous note to me.
- ivraatiems 4y agoGlad it helps! By the way, I showed what I wrote to my wife and she had three things to add: First, that I spelled lightning wrong. Second, that it's always a good idea to sit with yourself, think through all your non-superficial criteria, and try to turn them into a list where you know not just what you want, but why you want it. She hadn't been looking nearly as long as I had and she attributes a lot of her willingness to "make the call", as it were, to knowing exactly what she was looking for and why. It sounds like you may have already done that, in which case you are ahead of the game :). The last thing she wondered about is whether you have been explicit with your therapist about your goals? Self-improvement is great, but therapists aren't only for that. They can also be valuable allies in things like this. Talking to a therapist was how she figured out the second piece of advice above. > I actually had a similar experience with meeting my first boyfriend on bumble and while he ultimately decided he didn’t want to have a child with me, it still makes me believe what you say is try and recognize it. This is another rough one - that sucks. I had something similar, a girl I liked quite a lot, who wasn't comfortable having an exclusive relationship with me (or anyone, I think, but I'm not sure), regardless of how much we liked each other. That one hurt a lot. Anyway, we both wish you the best of luck!
- actfrench 4y agoI love you both. And I definitely need a partner who corrects my spelling and numerous typos. Better add that to the highly controversial checklist !