Closeness comes from sheer amount of time spent together. I'm talking hundred+ hours just to get a new friend. Relationships beyond that require even more time.

Closeness comes from sheer amount of time spent together. I'm talking hundred+ hours just to get a new friend. Relationships beyond that require even more time. Random dates are not the best way to fall in love, you want repeated interactions. People who you hang out with socially all the time. This is why church/work/school have been traditional ways to find a partner. Lots of time spent close together talking and getting to know someone. Odds are you aren't going to find yourself super duper into someone after one date. You need to do an objective judgment to see if there might be potential (good personality fit, right stage of life, etc) and go on a 2nd and 3rd date, preferably longer events, a day at a water park, skiing, whatever, just really spent time together. Relationships can take months of interactions to blossom! Source: I used to run a startup dedicated to helping people make friends and build long lasting relationships (non-romantic), all the research out there says the same thing: time time time! Oh btw "love (lust) at first sight" is evolution's way of tricking us into spending lots of time with one person, thereby allowing a deeper relationship to form. (Or not in the case of people who just seek new relationship energy all the time)