I'd buy this if everything-is-an-SQL-table was a near-universal opinion online. Or if any of those fringe zealot opinions were anywhere near as commonplace as

I'd buy this if everything-is-an-SQL-table was a near-universal opinion online. Or if any of those fringe zealot opinions were anywhere near as commonplace as the jarlic hate is. Is there some hive of schizo-DBAs that I don't know about?