6 ms·

If-im-gone – A cheat sheet for if I am somehow incapacitated

104 points by losfair 4y ago

asicsp 4y ago
Dupe: "Cheat sheet for if I'm gone" https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31748553 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31748553 (495 points | 16 days ago | 189 comments)
- ChrisMarshallNY 4y ago
  Here's the comment that I attached to that (It's one that a friend of mine wrote up). It's quite long, so I will not repeat it, here, but I think it's pretty useful. It was written by someone that has had quite a few health issues, and for whom, this is not an academic exercise. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31752778 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31752778
IIAOPSW 4y ago
Ok. Assuming you don't trust systems of law or for whatever reason prefer systems of tech I guess this works. Got to admit though, it feels less like a cheat sheet and more like being delegated a bunch of paperwork. I was hoping for something a bit less pedestrian than bank accounts and mortgages. My personal "in case of imminent nuclear war draft email to everyone" is about all the personal projects I'm not going to be able to finish myself anymore so here's some code for whoever wants to pick it up. Sure, my version also arguably hands unfinished work to people, but at least its more interesting work than "please go stand in line at the bank on my behalf." Its certainly a better way to remember me than "here's a few words, now pass the shovel."
- javajosh 4y ago
  >My personal "in case of imminent nuclear war draft email to everyone" I think you've misunderstood the purpose of this work. It's not about the end of the world, it's about the end of you and making the transition for the ones you love as easy as possible.
  - IIAOPSW 4y ago
    I understood it just fine. An "imminent catastrophe" draft is really just an "end of me" draft without the automation needed to handle the "no warning" case.
    - javajosh 4y ago
      On one hand, loathsome. On the other hand, I've never seen such a succinct example of online narcissism. So, on balance, thank you?
      - IIAOPSW 4y ago
        On the one hand, you started this conversation certain that I was the one with a reading comprehension problem. On the other hand, you ended it calling me a loathsome narcissist. So on balance...
- nolroz 4y ago
  My Dad passed away with no will and no instructions on what he actually had and where things were. This would have saved us an incredible amount of time and pain right after losing him.
  - lostcolony 4y ago
    Same. Though Lastpass' ability to request a trusted user's passwords (with a configurable amount of time to deny the request) obviates a lot for my wife if I were to pass.
    - nolroz 4y ago
      I think that's a great use case. I have something similar set up with a deadmans switch in Gmail. I don't want people to have to go on a hunt and have to hack into my gear while mourning like we did. No fun.
  - IIAOPSW 4y ago
    These aren't exclusive. If you're going to write a "just in case" document supplementary to your will, it can have whatever useful things certain people will need to know AND whatever interesting works you want them to remember you by.
fn-mote 4y ago
Not enough detail to be useful as more than a prod. Personally I prefer https://getyourshittogether.org https://getyourshittogether.org
- badcppdev 4y ago
  Thanks for that useful link. I came to comment that the OP linked git hub checklist is quite low effort.
- eimrine 4y ago
  Is there a more precise link to an article related to the topic? What I see is a website inviting to read about Mothers day or Father's day and to buy a book with different name.
  - micromacrofoot 4y ago
    there’s a checklist here https://getyourshittogether.org/checklist/ https://getyourshittogether.org/checklist/
rootsudo 4y ago
Not detailed or “legal” enough, even based on the creators commits. I highly suggest to contact an estate planner and / or use the Nolo published Guides and website - https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/wills-trusts-estates https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/wills-trusts-estates Otherwise you risk anything you wrote be invalidated and ineffective when you need these documents the most.
treeman79 4y ago
Disability companies will absolutely lie and mislead you. They will say they will call all your doctors and get what they need. They will not. They will not return your call even if you call twice a day for months on end. So if you are injured be prepared to quickly get a lawyer.
- zrail 4y ago
  Fwiw private pay individual disability has a much better reputation than employer pay group policies. If you're healthy and young it's an excellent hedge against a life changing event.
  - treeman79 4y ago
    Maybe so. Biggest issue was I had 2 years of severe cognitive issues. So I couldn’t comprehend any of the paperwork. By the time I recovered enough to do anything it was too late to go after them. I should have just let a lawyer deal with it and not worried about the 25% lifetime income fee.
ghostoftiber 4y ago
There is a legal process in the US for leaving behind an estate, a trust, or a will. This repo is not going to work except as notes for things which really should be in one of those legal workflows anyway.
- anamexis 4y ago
  I think "notes for things" is precisely the point, and isn't strictly for cases of death. If I'm in a coma I want my partner to be able to access my bank information and important documents without going through a legal process.
- LocalPCGuy 4y ago
  Definitely need the legal documents/etc. all properly done. But the legal docs aren't always going to have details on how to connect a new device to the wifi network or how the router is setup, regular tasks/maintenance schedules, etc. It's basically a way of communicating mundane information that isn't important enough for legal docs but can be a significant hindrance to someone if a person is no longer around. I also look at repos/documents like this more of a way to provide a checklist and for passing information on that often isn't captured in the legal documents that make it easier to perform or access things. For example, the information on logging into a password manager, how to use a backup code (or the 2FA if possible) could prevent having to go through the courts to gain access (and some of the more code-first policies may even prevent other users from gaining access without the proper credentials even if a company wants to help - not even talking about things like crypto where it could just be totally lost without the encryption password).
- dharmaturtle 4y ago
  And in the case of investments, there is an _advantage_ to going through the legal process (in the US): you get a step up in basis. > Step-up in basis refers to the adjustment in the cost basis of an inherited asset to its fair market value on the date of the decedent's death. https://www.investopedia.com/terms/s/stepupinbasis.asp https://www.investopedia.com/terms/s/stepupinbasis.asp Many elders in my immigrant family have passed, but because my family has a distrust of lawyers and the legal system, we've managed to never receive this benefit.
munchenphile 4y ago
There are services out there like everplans.com that handle this. There’s also the simpler and more basic deadmansswitch.net Get a lawyer and do real estate planning, in either case.
mminer237 4y ago
It's good to have easily-findable records of your assets, but the more important thing is to actually have the operative documents of a will and powers of attorney. Having a list of assets and debts doesn't help much if you still have to go to court and get a guardianship if you have a stroke.
eckesicle 4y ago
My wife died unexpectedly a year ago. A little before that I had set her up with a 1Password account and she had diligently moved all her details into it. She shared her master password with me. It was an incredible lifesaver in the first few months. Everything was really easy to get in order, and anything that wasn't well documented, I could find in her laptop or inbox. I'm so glad that she did it, and it saved us so much headache. Banking and such things are the easy bit, they've got streamlined and established bereavement processes. It's all the other small stuff that's hard, like loyalty cards, airmiles, gym memberships etc that causes the headaches.
- spicymaki 4y ago
  I am sorry for your loss! I have been waffling on doing the same, but I am not getting any younger.
- heretogetout 4y ago
  We're using Bitwarden for this, on the free two-person organization. It works pretty well when we remember to save passwords to shared folders.
A4ET8a8uTh0 4y ago
After Covid I kept going back to the idea of building something simple for my wife ( not the most technical user ever and I hate updating stuff manually ), but it remains an unfinished project at this time. Its not like there is a lot, but passwords and some contacts do change and I want to be able to pass all relevant details should anything major happen.
ocdtrekkie 4y ago
I have most of my data in self-hosted systems, so there's no central authority to provide access if something happens to me. I've been pondering a system that could transfer control/release information to my wife if something happens to me. One of the problems with secured paper storage of this sort of thing is keeping it updated. A lot of this stuff won't stay accurate forever. But obviously digital storage can be a huge risk.
BrandoElFollito 4y ago
I have a special document in case I die. It has - My password for bitwarden and the MFA codes. This is in addition to the fact that we share important logins with the family - List of banks to contact - List of people to contact in the office to get information about insurance, bonuses etc. - Information about where the important papers are - A description of how to de-automate my house My wife has a copy, and do does my best friend. He surprised me messy year when he told me he could not access my bank account. When I asked him WTF, he said that he is doing a DRP test :) And he find a flaw. People ask me if I am depressed when I tell them about that. For me this is a natural thing to do to help those left behind.

104 points by losfair 4y ago

Dupe: "Cheat sheet for if I'm gone" https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31748553 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31748553 (495 points | 16 days ago | 189 comments)

ChrisMarshallNY 4y ago
Here's the comment that I attached to that (It's one that a friend of mine wrote up). It's quite long, so I will not repeat it, here, but I think it's pretty useful. It was written by someone that has had quite a few health issues, and for whom, this is not an academic exercise. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31752778 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31752778

IIAOPSW 4y ago

Ok. Assuming you don't trust systems of law or for whatever reason prefer systems of tech I guess this works. Got to admit though, it feels less like a cheat sheet and more like being delegated a bunch of paperwork. I was hoping for something a bit less pedestrian than bank accounts and mortgages. My personal "in case of imminent nuclear war draft email to everyone" is about all the personal projects I'm not going to be able to finish myself anymore so here's some code for whoever wants to pick it up. Sure, my version also arguably hands unfinished work to people, but at least its more interesting work than "please go stand in line at the bank on my behalf." Its certainly a better way to remember me than "here's a few words, now pass the shovel."

javajosh 4y ago
>My personal "in case of imminent nuclear war draft email to everyone" I think you've misunderstood the purpose of this work. It's not about the end of the world, it's about the end of you and making the transition for the ones you love as easy as possible.
- IIAOPSW 4y ago
  I understood it just fine. An "imminent catastrophe" draft is really just an "end of me" draft without the automation needed to handle the "no warning" case.
  - javajosh 4y ago
    On one hand, loathsome. On the other hand, I've never seen such a succinct example of online narcissism. So, on balance, thank you?
    - IIAOPSW 4y ago
      On the one hand, you started this conversation certain that I was the one with a reading comprehension problem. On the other hand, you ended it calling me a loathsome narcissist. So on balance...
nolroz 4y ago
My Dad passed away with no will and no instructions on what he actually had and where things were. This would have saved us an incredible amount of time and pain right after losing him.
- lostcolony 4y ago
  Same. Though Lastpass' ability to request a trusted user's passwords (with a configurable amount of time to deny the request) obviates a lot for my wife if I were to pass.
  - nolroz 4y ago
    I think that's a great use case. I have something similar set up with a deadmans switch in Gmail. I don't want people to have to go on a hunt and have to hack into my gear while mourning like we did. No fun.
- IIAOPSW 4y ago
  These aren't exclusive. If you're going to write a "just in case" document supplementary to your will, it can have whatever useful things certain people will need to know AND whatever interesting works you want them to remember you by.

fn-mote 4y ago

Not enough detail to be useful as more than a prod. Personally I prefer https://getyourshittogether.org https://getyourshittogether.org

badcppdev 4y ago
Thanks for that useful link. I came to comment that the OP linked git hub checklist is quite low effort.
eimrine 4y ago
Is there a more precise link to an article related to the topic? What I see is a website inviting to read about Mothers day or Father's day and to buy a book with different name.
- micromacrofoot 4y ago
  there’s a checklist here https://getyourshittogether.org/checklist/ https://getyourshittogether.org/checklist/

rootsudo 4y ago

Not detailed or “legal” enough, even based on the creators commits. I highly suggest to contact an estate planner and / or use the Nolo published Guides and website - https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/wills-trusts-estates https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/wills-trusts-estates Otherwise you risk anything you wrote be invalidated and ineffective when you need these documents the most.

treeman79 4y ago

Disability companies will absolutely lie and mislead you. They will say they will call all your doctors and get what they need. They will not. They will not return your call even if you call twice a day for months on end. So if you are injured be prepared to quickly get a lawyer.

zrail 4y ago
Fwiw private pay individual disability has a much better reputation than employer pay group policies. If you're healthy and young it's an excellent hedge against a life changing event.
- treeman79 4y ago
  Maybe so. Biggest issue was I had 2 years of severe cognitive issues. So I couldn’t comprehend any of the paperwork. By the time I recovered enough to do anything it was too late to go after them. I should have just let a lawyer deal with it and not worried about the 25% lifetime income fee.

ghostoftiber 4y ago

There is a legal process in the US for leaving behind an estate, a trust, or a will. This repo is not going to work except as notes for things which really should be in one of those legal workflows anyway.

anamexis 4y ago
I think "notes for things" is precisely the point, and isn't strictly for cases of death. If I'm in a coma I want my partner to be able to access my bank information and important documents without going through a legal process.
LocalPCGuy 4y ago
Definitely need the legal documents/etc. all properly done. But the legal docs aren't always going to have details on how to connect a new device to the wifi network or how the router is setup, regular tasks/maintenance schedules, etc. It's basically a way of communicating mundane information that isn't important enough for legal docs but can be a significant hindrance to someone if a person is no longer around. I also look at repos/documents like this more of a way to provide a checklist and for passing information on that often isn't captured in the legal documents that make it easier to perform or access things. For example, the information on logging into a password manager, how to use a backup code (or the 2FA if possible) could prevent having to go through the courts to gain access (and some of the more code-first policies may even prevent other users from gaining access without the proper credentials even if a company wants to help - not even talking about things like crypto where it could just be totally lost without the encryption password).
dharmaturtle 4y ago
And in the case of investments, there is an _advantage_ to going through the legal process (in the US): you get a step up in basis. > Step-up in basis refers to the adjustment in the cost basis of an inherited asset to its fair market value on the date of the decedent's death. https://www.investopedia.com/terms/s/stepupinbasis.asp https://www.investopedia.com/terms/s/stepupinbasis.asp Many elders in my immigrant family have passed, but because my family has a distrust of lawyers and the legal system, we've managed to never receive this benefit.

munchenphile 4y ago

There are services out there like everplans.com that handle this. There’s also the simpler and more basic deadmansswitch.net Get a lawyer and do real estate planning, in either case.

mminer237 4y ago

It's good to have easily-findable records of your assets, but the more important thing is to actually have the operative documents of a will and powers of attorney. Having a list of assets and debts doesn't help much if you still have to go to court and get a guardianship if you have a stroke.

eckesicle 4y ago

My wife died unexpectedly a year ago. A little before that I had set her up with a 1Password account and she had diligently moved all her details into it. She shared her master password with me. It was an incredible lifesaver in the first few months. Everything was really easy to get in order, and anything that wasn't well documented, I could find in her laptop or inbox. I'm so glad that she did it, and it saved us so much headache. Banking and such things are the easy bit, they've got streamlined and established bereavement processes. It's all the other small stuff that's hard, like loyalty cards, airmiles, gym memberships etc that causes the headaches.

spicymaki 4y ago
I am sorry for your loss! I have been waffling on doing the same, but I am not getting any younger.
heretogetout 4y ago
We're using Bitwarden for this, on the free two-person organization. It works pretty well when we remember to save passwords to shared folders.

A4ET8a8uTh0 4y ago

After Covid I kept going back to the idea of building something simple for my wife ( not the most technical user ever and I hate updating stuff manually ), but it remains an unfinished project at this time. Its not like there is a lot, but passwords and some contacts do change and I want to be able to pass all relevant details should anything major happen.

ocdtrekkie 4y ago

I have most of my data in self-hosted systems, so there's no central authority to provide access if something happens to me. I've been pondering a system that could transfer control/release information to my wife if something happens to me. One of the problems with secured paper storage of this sort of thing is keeping it updated. A lot of this stuff won't stay accurate forever. But obviously digital storage can be a huge risk.

BrandoElFollito 4y ago

I have a special document in case I die. It has - My password for bitwarden and the MFA codes. This is in addition to the fact that we share important logins with the family - List of banks to contact - List of people to contact in the office to get information about insurance, bonuses etc. - Information about where the important papers are - A description of how to de-automate my house My wife has a copy, and do does my best friend. He surprised me messy year when he told me he could not access my bank account. When I asked him WTF, he said that he is doing a DRP test :) And he find a flaw. People ask me if I am depressed when I tell them about that. For me this is a natural thing to do to help those left behind.