4 ms·

There's plenty of good advice in there, but did anyone else get the feeling that this post was just going through the standard Wellness checklist anyway? They'r

There's plenty of good advice in there, but did anyone else get the feeling that this post was just going through the standard Wellness checklist anyway? They're criticizing "Peak Wellness", but then go through the same exact bullet points I see everywhere...what happens when you do everything "right", but still feel empty? > I can’t tell you how many people I know who feel “trapped” in big cities like New York or San Francisco. Move! There are plenty of places with lower costs of living, more access to nature, and good jobs. I felt trapped in the suburbs, personally. Moving to NYC is what made me feel free.

thrown_22 4y ago
Freedom is the ability to change your circumstances. If you feel like you can't then it doesn't matter how objectively well off you are, you will be miserable. The drug addictions and mental illness of the kids of the rich and famous I went to school with told me that there's more to life than money, the drug addictions and mental illness of the counter culture I spend my 20s with told me there's very little money doesn't improve.
taylodl 4y ago
Moving to a place where you can easily walk to most places you need to be on a regular basis is great for your mental health and overall wellness. Heck, just walking everywhere is good for your overall wellness!
- b112 4y ago
  And if you move to a 100 acre rural property, and walk it daily, what then? What if it is a 5 acre rural property with nearby trails and such? I guess your logic is, walking for needed stuff is more motivation than just plain walking? I suppose, for some. Others I know just uber and uber eats everything, and amazon for groceries, and so on... At least where I live, I have to walk around inside the grocery store myself...
  - taylodl 4y ago
    I'm just informally applying the Pareto Principle and assuming the overwhelming majority of the folks here on HN live in urban or suburban environments and this scenario wouldn't apply. walking for needed stuff is more motivation than just plain walking? Yes. That's why some doctors recommend their patients to get a dog. The dog provides the motivation to take a daily walk. Most people won't walk for the fun of it if the weather conditions aren't ideal.
    - mikestew 4y ago
      The dog provides the motivation to take a daily walk. Don't get a dog for this reason, because once you've convinced yourself that the dog doesn't need a walk every day, then you and a dog get fat sitting on the couch watching Netflix. As a lifelong distance runner, I am well aware that the hardest step is the one out the front door, but don't for an instance think that a dog is going to fix that long-term.
  - bfgoodrich 4y ago
    I live on a 100+ acre rural property just outside a large city. Surrounded by mansions and massive estates, and with a world renowned walking trail literally just down the street. There are many things I like. There are many things I don't. Not least that everything is a 20+ minute drive away. Everything feels entirely remote. Now add endless ticks (for some reason worse than ever the past two years), black flies, mosquitoes, wasp nests appearing everywhere, the stink of farm fields, closer still the stink of septic beds (whenever a low pressure system rolls in you smell the septic tanks. And to be clear, this is an area of very high end homes all on massive lots). Every storm is a power outage, requiring eventually equipping a whole house generator. Every snow storm is a disaster. Grounds maintenance is an endless pit of effort. The streets are barely wide enough for cars so a walk feels like a death defying activity, and almost no one actually does it. The trail is always incredibly busy. Before we lived here we lived in a small home across from a grocery store shopping complex in an urban area. The backyard was tiny and we had nosey neighbours who'd hang over the fence and watch what you were doing. You'd hear the endless rattle of crapbox Civics with noise-making mufflers, blasting the bassline of some rap. I enjoyed living in that tiny house way, way more. I loved just walking across the street early Sunday morning, while everyone slept, and smelling all the freshly baked goods, getting a croissant fresh from the oven. A five minute walk yielded parks, trails, pizza places, sushi, and everything else. I have no idea why I posted this, but happiness in life really isn't as easily assessed as we often think. There are many who would be absolutely certain that their life would be nothing but bliss if they lived where I did. Humans don't work like that.
jhoechtl 4y ago
> I felt trapped in the suburbs, personally. Moving to NYC is what made me feel free. Ironically many people would answer to feel free when moving out of a big city. At least I do.
- Trasmatta 4y ago
  Right, I'm not saying it's the right move for everyone. Just offering the alternate perspective.
- oogali 4y ago
  Different strokes for different folks. At different times in their lives. Don’t expect something as subjective as happiness to also be rational. In my teen years, I felt trapped where I grew up so I moved to NYC. In my early 20s, I couldn’t afford Manhattan so I moved to the suburbs. In my mid 20s, I felt trapped in the suburbs so I moved [back] to NYC. In my early 30s, I felt trapped in NYC and just recently moved back to the suburbs. In 15-20 years, I’ll probably think along the lines of folks who say they want a pied-a-terre in NYC for the (non-winter) weekends and suburbs during the week.
  - gigaflop 4y ago
    > pied-a-terre Thanks for the vocabulary. I've been thinking about this option myself, combined with an edge-of-town main residence, with the full home office + gym + etc. The convenience of being able to just go to a population center and have all of your creature comforts handled is the big draw for me.

thrown_22 4y ago

Freedom is the ability to change your circumstances. If you feel like you can't then it doesn't matter how objectively well off you are, you will be miserable. The drug addictions and mental illness of the kids of the rich and famous I went to school with told me that there's more to life than money, the drug addictions and mental illness of the counter culture I spend my 20s with told me there's very little money doesn't improve.

taylodl 4y ago

Moving to a place where you can easily walk to most places you need to be on a regular basis is great for your mental health and overall wellness. Heck, just walking everywhere is good for your overall wellness!

b112 4y ago
And if you move to a 100 acre rural property, and walk it daily, what then? What if it is a 5 acre rural property with nearby trails and such? I guess your logic is, walking for needed stuff is more motivation than just plain walking? I suppose, for some. Others I know just uber and uber eats everything, and amazon for groceries, and so on... At least where I live, I have to walk around inside the grocery store myself...
- taylodl 4y ago
  I'm just informally applying the Pareto Principle and assuming the overwhelming majority of the folks here on HN live in urban or suburban environments and this scenario wouldn't apply. walking for needed stuff is more motivation than just plain walking? Yes. That's why some doctors recommend their patients to get a dog. The dog provides the motivation to take a daily walk. Most people won't walk for the fun of it if the weather conditions aren't ideal.
  - mikestew 4y ago
    The dog provides the motivation to take a daily walk. Don't get a dog for this reason, because once you've convinced yourself that the dog doesn't need a walk every day, then you and a dog get fat sitting on the couch watching Netflix. As a lifelong distance runner, I am well aware that the hardest step is the one out the front door, but don't for an instance think that a dog is going to fix that long-term.
- bfgoodrich 4y ago
  I live on a 100+ acre rural property just outside a large city. Surrounded by mansions and massive estates, and with a world renowned walking trail literally just down the street. There are many things I like. There are many things I don't. Not least that everything is a 20+ minute drive away. Everything feels entirely remote. Now add endless ticks (for some reason worse than ever the past two years), black flies, mosquitoes, wasp nests appearing everywhere, the stink of farm fields, closer still the stink of septic beds (whenever a low pressure system rolls in you smell the septic tanks. And to be clear, this is an area of very high end homes all on massive lots). Every storm is a power outage, requiring eventually equipping a whole house generator. Every snow storm is a disaster. Grounds maintenance is an endless pit of effort. The streets are barely wide enough for cars so a walk feels like a death defying activity, and almost no one actually does it. The trail is always incredibly busy. Before we lived here we lived in a small home across from a grocery store shopping complex in an urban area. The backyard was tiny and we had nosey neighbours who'd hang over the fence and watch what you were doing. You'd hear the endless rattle of crapbox Civics with noise-making mufflers, blasting the bassline of some rap. I enjoyed living in that tiny house way, way more. I loved just walking across the street early Sunday morning, while everyone slept, and smelling all the freshly baked goods, getting a croissant fresh from the oven. A five minute walk yielded parks, trails, pizza places, sushi, and everything else. I have no idea why I posted this, but happiness in life really isn't as easily assessed as we often think. There are many who would be absolutely certain that their life would be nothing but bliss if they lived where I did. Humans don't work like that.

jhoechtl 4y ago

> I felt trapped in the suburbs, personally. Moving to NYC is what made me feel free. Ironically many people would answer to feel free when moving out of a big city. At least I do.

Trasmatta 4y ago
Right, I'm not saying it's the right move for everyone. Just offering the alternate perspective.
oogali 4y ago
Different strokes for different folks. At different times in their lives. Don’t expect something as subjective as happiness to also be rational. In my teen years, I felt trapped where I grew up so I moved to NYC. In my early 20s, I couldn’t afford Manhattan so I moved to the suburbs. In my mid 20s, I felt trapped in the suburbs so I moved [back] to NYC. In my early 30s, I felt trapped in NYC and just recently moved back to the suburbs. In 15-20 years, I’ll probably think along the lines of folks who say they want a pied-a-terre in NYC for the (non-winter) weekends and suburbs during the week.
- gigaflop 4y ago
  > pied-a-terre Thanks for the vocabulary. I've been thinking about this option myself, combined with an edge-of-town main residence, with the full home office + gym + etc. The convenience of being able to just go to a population center and have all of your creature comforts handled is the big draw for me.