I'm really sorry to hear this. And I want to share that what you've said here concerns me. I've been working with children for over twenty years and I would sa

I'm really sorry to hear this. And I want to share that what you've said here concerns me. I've been working with children for over twenty years and I would say that it's highly unusual to hear of a child throw a tantrum for four hours at a time. And especially concerning to hear that they're being violent or destroying things in your house. I would be the last person to try to diagnose someone from a thread on hacker news (and forgive me if you've already done this), but it's possible, I would strongly recommend that you reach out to a qualified therapist for support. It's possible that their might be other issues at play in what's causing these tantrums such as autism, sensory processing disorder or attachment disorder. A qualified behavioral interventionist can help. I would also be concerned about what is going on when you are not at home. Maybe there is a good reason for them to feel unsafe when you leave the house. I'm not sure who is there when you are gone, but there are so many cases of children being sexually abused by family members and sitters (steparents, uncles, cousins, siblings) and this is something we unfortunately need to be on guard for. I'm not saying this to scare you, but getting to the bottom of what's going on while you're gone could be important. I'm happy to hear that getting more sleep has helped your family. Sleep is golden! And it's also wonderful that you are explaining things clearly to the kids about when you're going out and when you get back. I am a huge fan of explaining things in the most minute detail possible to children so they understand your need and the logic of the situation. If you don't need additional help and feel you have this situation under control, forgive me for weighing in. However, if you would like support and knowledge about additional resources to pursue, I would be very happy to speak to you further and be of support. You seem like a very caring and wonderful parent and every parent deserves as much support as they can get in raising their kids. My email is manisha[at]modulo[dot]app Please feel free to reach out anytime