Thanks so much Will. I agree that this is the biggest strain that most parents face. With regards to grandparents opting out of childcare: Wow. I'm really sor

Thanks so much Will. I agree that this is the biggest strain that most parents face. With regards to grandparents opting out of childcare: Wow. I'm really sorry to hear that your parents (I'm assuming that's what you mean by the previous generation) isn't willing to participate. This is actually the first time that I've heard this trend, so I'm surprised and troubled you've heard it from others. In the past, I tended to diagnose this problem as one of nuclear families moving away from grandparents, cousins and uncles (as it doesn't seem to be an issue for friends of mine in countries such as Iran where families live closer together, even if both parents are working). I'm curious to know why the grandparents aren't helping. Is it lack of desire? Is it because they are still working and don't have time/energy to help with the kids? Is it because they had to pay for babysitters and expect you to do the same? I'm really curious to learn more about this if you or any of your friends would be open to a chat. With regards to separation anxiety: It also sounds that your daughter is feeling, very naturally, attached and not wanting you to leave for a few hours, which can be really hard. In the past, I really encourage parents to prioritize self-care for the well-being of their child. It can be hard to see a young child cry and complain, but remember that by taking a few hours for dinner to strengthen your relationship with your partner, you are being incredibly kind to your child (by keeping the relationship that supports her safe). Even if a child cries and complains, I suggest that parents explain in very vivid detail why this going out is the best for their well being. You can honor her feelings of sadness at the separation and share your own feelings of being sad that you'll be apart - and then leave. Boundaries are love. Adele Faber wrote a phenomenal book called "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk." I think it is hands down the best book on compassionately communicating boundaries to children. With regards to finances: I'm reading this into it since you'd prefer to have your parents help rather than pay someone, have you considered a child care share? I've heard from many families that participating in a babysitting co-op or care share has been one of the most rich and rewarding experiences of their life. I've written quite a bit about childcare shares but your post and some requests from friends have inspired me to write a new blog about this topic.