5 ms·

Americans also often don’t have the same relationship with their nuclear families. In India, and from what I’ve heard Europe and AUNZ, it’s not uncommon to live

by vrc 4y ago

Americans also often don’t have the same relationship with their nuclear families. In India, and from what I’ve heard Europe and AUNZ, it’s not uncommon to live at home and commute to university and sometimes after. That’s anathema to the American model. 18 and you’re out the door. Many of my friends’ parents financially cut them off when they graduated high school, and/or immediately moved out of their town to a lower tax area (and these are upper middle class folks). So that safety net of weathering the storm in a hometown may not always be there IME.

2Gkashmiri 4y ago
so, you are saying, because of social reasons, entire generations are literally wasting money because "muh child is past 18?" wait, let me get this straight. i don't get "Many of my friends’ parents financially cut them off when they graduated high school," i've read this a lot of times. does this mean the parents force the children to stand on their own feet and not extend to them financial support or do you mean they cut them off of their money as is. don't these people know about inheritance? >and/or immediately moved out of their town to a lower tax area this one, specifically in india is literally never a concern. taxes are same across the entire country so no one even considers this >So that safety net of weathering the storm in a hometown may not always be there IME. correct me if i am wrong but i suppose there are two things at play here. parents' insistence on always being right and not taking care of their children however old (when they have the resources nonetheless) as a sign of "american way" and the children thinking "i will stay at a homeless shelter rather than go back to my parents home because muh privacy, independence"?
- theandrewbailey 4y ago
  > does this mean the parents force the children to stand on their own feet and not extend to them financial support or do you mean they cut them off of their money as is. don't these people know about inheritance? More or less, yeah. In America, you are expected to be your own person when you turn 18. That almost always means having a job and paying for a place to live, even if it means flipping burgers and renting a room at mom and dad's house. Though, I've been reconsidering that expectation with all these articles over the past few years of parents helping their kids with down payments on their kid's houses. Now there's parent plus student loans. Inheritance? Many older adults also live paycheck to paycheck and are drowning in debt, and might explain how eager some parents are to kick their kids out. In America, inheritance usually only happens when both parents die, but many kids won't see a penny of inheritance.
  - iancmceachern 4y ago
    And fights over inheritance often causes deep family rifts.
  - Jcowell 4y ago
    One thing to note is that there is no “one” American culture. What’s true in one place may not be the reality 50 miles where you but can be true 100 miles where you are.
- kradeelav 4y ago
  Disclaimer that it's a spectrum, so what's true for one family isn't true for another. But yes, historically a large proportion of WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) families in the US are very individualistic, and of the mindset that once when you graduate college, (barring a grace year or two), you're expected to rent/own your place. Apartments exist as a place that are more affordable than condos or homes. Inheritance exists, but that's considered as only a "when the oldest generation dies" sort of thing. I do find this trend feels like it dovetails with a greater percentage of estranged kids/adults, and isolation for the oldest generation. Quite a lot of estrangement is necessary; this isn't a judgement on that choice, merely commenting there may be more friction under the surface leading to that mindset. I mention the first line because (quasi-) immigrant families (like mine) are a lot more of your mindset. Makes far more sense to save, and there's less cultural taboo with multi-generation households. some raw data: https://www.boredpanda.com/young-adults-moving-from-parents-age-data/ https://www.boredpanda.com/young-adults-moving-from-parents-...
- sam0x17 4y ago
  Unless your parents own a home or some asset or pay into life insurance there is nothing to inherit as most of the middle class is in debt
  - iancmceachern 4y ago
    Exactly, I could have inherited the family business but my dad wouldn't let me, in his words I'd be "inheriting debt".

by vrc 4y ago

2Gkashmiri 4y ago

so, you are saying, because of social reasons, entire generations are literally wasting money because "muh child is past 18?" wait, let me get this straight. i don't get "Many of my friends’ parents financially cut them off when they graduated high school," i've read this a lot of times. does this mean the parents force the children to stand on their own feet and not extend to them financial support or do you mean they cut them off of their money as is. don't these people know about inheritance? >and/or immediately moved out of their town to a lower tax area this one, specifically in india is literally never a concern. taxes are same across the entire country so no one even considers this >So that safety net of weathering the storm in a hometown may not always be there IME. correct me if i am wrong but i suppose there are two things at play here. parents' insistence on always being right and not taking care of their children however old (when they have the resources nonetheless) as a sign of "american way" and the children thinking "i will stay at a homeless shelter rather than go back to my parents home because muh privacy, independence"?

theandrewbailey 4y ago
> does this mean the parents force the children to stand on their own feet and not extend to them financial support or do you mean they cut them off of their money as is. don't these people know about inheritance? More or less, yeah. In America, you are expected to be your own person when you turn 18. That almost always means having a job and paying for a place to live, even if it means flipping burgers and renting a room at mom and dad's house. Though, I've been reconsidering that expectation with all these articles over the past few years of parents helping their kids with down payments on their kid's houses. Now there's parent plus student loans. Inheritance? Many older adults also live paycheck to paycheck and are drowning in debt, and might explain how eager some parents are to kick their kids out. In America, inheritance usually only happens when both parents die, but many kids won't see a penny of inheritance.
- iancmceachern 4y ago
  And fights over inheritance often causes deep family rifts.
- Jcowell 4y ago
  One thing to note is that there is no “one” American culture. What’s true in one place may not be the reality 50 miles where you but can be true 100 miles where you are.
kradeelav 4y ago
Disclaimer that it's a spectrum, so what's true for one family isn't true for another. But yes, historically a large proportion of WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) families in the US are very individualistic, and of the mindset that once when you graduate college, (barring a grace year or two), you're expected to rent/own your place. Apartments exist as a place that are more affordable than condos or homes. Inheritance exists, but that's considered as only a "when the oldest generation dies" sort of thing. I do find this trend feels like it dovetails with a greater percentage of estranged kids/adults, and isolation for the oldest generation. Quite a lot of estrangement is necessary; this isn't a judgement on that choice, merely commenting there may be more friction under the surface leading to that mindset. I mention the first line because (quasi-) immigrant families (like mine) are a lot more of your mindset. Makes far more sense to save, and there's less cultural taboo with multi-generation households. some raw data: https://www.boredpanda.com/young-adults-moving-from-parents-age-data/ https://www.boredpanda.com/young-adults-moving-from-parents-...
sam0x17 4y ago
Unless your parents own a home or some asset or pay into life insurance there is nothing to inherit as most of the middle class is in debt
- iancmceachern 4y ago
  Exactly, I could have inherited the family business but my dad wouldn't let me, in his words I'd be "inheriting debt".