5 ms·

My parents don't live where my career is, where my career is its too expensive to buy a home even at my relatively high salary until you've saved for 10 years.

My parents don't live where my career is, where my career is its too expensive to buy a home even at my relatively high salary until you've saved for 10 years. Had I stayed where my parents are geography my career would have stagnated and peaked 10 years ago. Where there are good jobs and upward mobility home prices are also high with a high barrier to entry ($250k+ down payment).

namecheapTA 4y ago
Do you think this was a worthwhile trade-off? Would life be that much worse back home near family, with a stagnated career owning your own cheaper home?
- 2Gkashmiri 4y ago
  you can earn 100k, blow 90% of that for rent/mortgage and general living expenses in a big city or get to live with your parents and earn half while saving much more. maybe that doesn't appeal to a lot of people, they look at the CTC as opposed to your net savings
- iancmceachern 4y ago
  I didn't for a while, now I think it was.
2Gkashmiri 4y ago
in 2020, there were massive layoffs across the world and in india, workers from the city simply moved back to their native homes to weather the storm. why didn't americans do that and decided to penny pinch/take more loans rather than saving costs? In the world of remote-first, do you really think geography matters as much?
- querulous 4y ago
  even remote first workers in tier 1 and 2 tech markets are going to have better developed networks than those in relative backwaters. i think few europeans appreciate how geography influences outcomes in north america. if you live in mobile alabama or toledo ohio you have to really work to compete for jobs with someone in new york or san francisco or even a second tier city like raleigh durham or toronto.
- vrc 4y ago
  Americans also often don’t have the same relationship with their nuclear families. In India, and from what I’ve heard Europe and AUNZ, it’s not uncommon to live at home and commute to university and sometimes after. That’s anathema to the American model. 18 and you’re out the door. Many of my friends’ parents financially cut them off when they graduated high school, and/or immediately moved out of their town to a lower tax area (and these are upper middle class folks). So that safety net of weathering the storm in a hometown may not always be there IME.
  - 2Gkashmiri 4y ago
    so, you are saying, because of social reasons, entire generations are literally wasting money because "muh child is past 18?" wait, let me get this straight. i don't get "Many of my friends’ parents financially cut them off when they graduated high school," i've read this a lot of times. does this mean the parents force the children to stand on their own feet and not extend to them financial support or do you mean they cut them off of their money as is. don't these people know about inheritance? >and/or immediately moved out of their town to a lower tax area this one, specifically in india is literally never a concern. taxes are same across the entire country so no one even considers this >So that safety net of weathering the storm in a hometown may not always be there IME. correct me if i am wrong but i suppose there are two things at play here. parents' insistence on always being right and not taking care of their children however old (when they have the resources nonetheless) as a sign of "american way" and the children thinking "i will stay at a homeless shelter rather than go back to my parents home because muh privacy, independence"?
    - theandrewbailey 4y ago
      > does this mean the parents force the children to stand on their own feet and not extend to them financial support or do you mean they cut them off of their money as is. don't these people know about inheritance? More or less, yeah. In America, you are expected to be your own person when you turn 18. That almost always means having a job and paying for a place to live, even if it means flipping burgers and renting a room at mom and dad's house. Though, I've been reconsidering that expectation with all these articles over the past few years of parents helping their kids with down payments on their kid's houses. Now there's parent plus student loans. Inheritance? Many older adults also live paycheck to paycheck and are drowning in debt, and might explain how eager some parents are to kick their kids out. In America, inheritance usually only happens when both parents die, but many kids won't see a penny of inheritance.
- unmole 4y ago
  > why didn't americans do that They did. In 2020, 52% of young adults in America were living with their parents. The number is lower now but not by a lot.
- iancmceachern 4y ago
  Many jobs, like mine, are not able to be fully remote. And yes, geography does really matter now that half of the US is making basic women's Healthcare illegal. No amount of money would drive someone to move their family to a place where basic Healthcare is denied for every woman.

namecheapTA 4y ago

Do you think this was a worthwhile trade-off? Would life be that much worse back home near family, with a stagnated career owning your own cheaper home?

2Gkashmiri 4y ago
you can earn 100k, blow 90% of that for rent/mortgage and general living expenses in a big city or get to live with your parents and earn half while saving much more. maybe that doesn't appeal to a lot of people, they look at the CTC as opposed to your net savings
iancmceachern 4y ago
I didn't for a while, now I think it was.

2Gkashmiri 4y ago

in 2020, there were massive layoffs across the world and in india, workers from the city simply moved back to their native homes to weather the storm. why didn't americans do that and decided to penny pinch/take more loans rather than saving costs? In the world of remote-first, do you really think geography matters as much?

querulous 4y ago
even remote first workers in tier 1 and 2 tech markets are going to have better developed networks than those in relative backwaters. i think few europeans appreciate how geography influences outcomes in north america. if you live in mobile alabama or toledo ohio you have to really work to compete for jobs with someone in new york or san francisco or even a second tier city like raleigh durham or toronto.
vrc 4y ago
Americans also often don’t have the same relationship with their nuclear families. In India, and from what I’ve heard Europe and AUNZ, it’s not uncommon to live at home and commute to university and sometimes after. That’s anathema to the American model. 18 and you’re out the door. Many of my friends’ parents financially cut them off when they graduated high school, and/or immediately moved out of their town to a lower tax area (and these are upper middle class folks). So that safety net of weathering the storm in a hometown may not always be there IME.
- 2Gkashmiri 4y ago
  so, you are saying, because of social reasons, entire generations are literally wasting money because "muh child is past 18?" wait, let me get this straight. i don't get "Many of my friends’ parents financially cut them off when they graduated high school," i've read this a lot of times. does this mean the parents force the children to stand on their own feet and not extend to them financial support or do you mean they cut them off of their money as is. don't these people know about inheritance? >and/or immediately moved out of their town to a lower tax area this one, specifically in india is literally never a concern. taxes are same across the entire country so no one even considers this >So that safety net of weathering the storm in a hometown may not always be there IME. correct me if i am wrong but i suppose there are two things at play here. parents' insistence on always being right and not taking care of their children however old (when they have the resources nonetheless) as a sign of "american way" and the children thinking "i will stay at a homeless shelter rather than go back to my parents home because muh privacy, independence"?
  - theandrewbailey 4y ago
    > does this mean the parents force the children to stand on their own feet and not extend to them financial support or do you mean they cut them off of their money as is. don't these people know about inheritance? More or less, yeah. In America, you are expected to be your own person when you turn 18. That almost always means having a job and paying for a place to live, even if it means flipping burgers and renting a room at mom and dad's house. Though, I've been reconsidering that expectation with all these articles over the past few years of parents helping their kids with down payments on their kid's houses. Now there's parent plus student loans. Inheritance? Many older adults also live paycheck to paycheck and are drowning in debt, and might explain how eager some parents are to kick their kids out. In America, inheritance usually only happens when both parents die, but many kids won't see a penny of inheritance.
unmole 4y ago
> why didn't americans do that They did. In 2020, 52% of young adults in America were living with their parents. The number is lower now but not by a lot.
iancmceachern 4y ago
Many jobs, like mine, are not able to be fully remote. And yes, geography does really matter now that half of the US is making basic women's Healthcare illegal. No amount of money would drive someone to move their family to a place where basic Healthcare is denied for every woman.