2 ms·

Fair point - the sections we have to adjust to an be short, relative to how we figure them out. For example, one has to figure out how to be a man in some peri

by czbond 4y ago

Fair point - the sections we have to adjust to an be short, relative to how we figure them out. For example, one has to figure out how to be a man in some period of 15-23yro. Then live that. Then if one has kids, how to wholly be responsible for others in that 20's-30's range. Then wholly how to let them go, and then potentially to help one's parents after that. All while balancing self, identity, aspirations, dreams, adulting, and placing food on the table. Each period is short, in a long overarching "cumulative years"

BLKNSLVR 4y ago
> potentially to help one's parents after that Tangential discussion: I have two teenaged kids, both my parents are still alive and healthy enough to look after themselves and go on overseas holidays every couple of years (pending COVID), and both of my grandmothers are still alive although neither able to look after themselves. We utilise both my parents and my wife's parents to help with school drop-offs / pickups and appointments every now and then, plus my parents have to also look after their respective mothers, including dealing with their financials and moving "homes" and what to do with their belongings etc. My mother, bless, complains about having to look after their mother's. This is a little coarse, but also understandable in that they're in their mid-70's and struggle enough with their own health nevermind the power of attorney kinds of issues required of looking after their elderly parents. Both my parents are getting noticeably older, decreasingly able to deal with their own issues. With an aging population, retirement isn't what it used to be. Retirement is ferrying grandkids and juggling not-yet-deceased estates, whilst having an increasingly full calendar of appointments with doctors and specialists to keep your own machine running. There's a potential scenario that could play out in only a few years where I could be responsible for both my parents and my grandmothers' welfare at a time my children will be in late high-school. I'm not being woe-is-me, I'm trying to explain what 'normal' may already look like for Gen X-ish, and how different it may be from expectations.

by czbond 4y ago

BLKNSLVR 4y ago

> potentially to help one's parents after that Tangential discussion: I have two teenaged kids, both my parents are still alive and healthy enough to look after themselves and go on overseas holidays every couple of years (pending COVID), and both of my grandmothers are still alive although neither able to look after themselves. We utilise both my parents and my wife's parents to help with school drop-offs / pickups and appointments every now and then, plus my parents have to also look after their respective mothers, including dealing with their financials and moving "homes" and what to do with their belongings etc. My mother, bless, complains about having to look after their mother's. This is a little coarse, but also understandable in that they're in their mid-70's and struggle enough with their own health nevermind the power of attorney kinds of issues required of looking after their elderly parents. Both my parents are getting noticeably older, decreasingly able to deal with their own issues. With an aging population, retirement isn't what it used to be. Retirement is ferrying grandkids and juggling not-yet-deceased estates, whilst having an increasingly full calendar of appointments with doctors and specialists to keep your own machine running. There's a potential scenario that could play out in only a few years where I could be responsible for both my parents and my grandmothers' welfare at a time my children will be in late high-school. I'm not being woe-is-me, I'm trying to explain what 'normal' may already look like for Gen X-ish, and how different it may be from expectations.