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I tried to think of some constructive criticism (since that's more useful than "good luck guys!"), but couldn't really figure anything really penetrating, but h

I tried to think of some constructive criticism (since that's more useful than "good luck guys!"), but couldn't really figure anything really penetrating, but here's my best shot at some question to think about, constructive criticism, etc. 1) how is this different than people just going out to events with friends and then randomly meeting friends of friends to date? My best guess is that this is different because there's more of a recognition that people are looking. How does this change the dynamics? 2) My guess is that this is going to be kind of a platform for matchmakers too. What, if anything, do they get out of it? 3) Will the businesses hosting/benefiting from the event pay a cut of their proceeds to TLF? 4) Will people who meet on the site attend the events as pairs? Or will it be like a singles event? If the latter, then we'll see an "alpha male" problem where a handful of males will be desired. The betas will drop out and more importantly many women will be turned off by the competition for a few men. 5) Finally, and most importantly, any play in the dating space is most likely not going to be a tech play (that's been done - OKCupid and eHarmony among many others have all sorts of fancy algorithms). Like most social media today, the business model will stand or fall based on very nuanced understanding of human nature, in particular very nuanced understanding of male/female romantic and sexual interactions. Now, no offense, but when I think of "very nuanced understanding of male/female romantic and sexual interactions" the image of two college guys who read HN does not come to mind. Nothing personal, I would apply the same reasoning to myself (which is one of the reasons I have not started a dating site). It's just something to be aware of, you're stepping into an area that is one of the most misunderstand social arenas for our species. All of the above are just my musings intended to plant some seeds in your head. I think this is a great idea and you should go for it with gusto. The only real advice I have: If you don't already have one, get a woman on your team. Gone are the days where dating sites are just tech/algorithm plays, like I said above you've got to understand the psychology and there's just no way to do that with 50% of your target market missing from your founding team.

ceol 15y ago
>we'll see an "alpha male" problem where a handful of males will be desired. The betas will drop out and more importantly many women will be turned off by the competition for a few men. I've never heard of this "alpha male problem"; I've only heard stories of there being too few women. Could any frequenter of singles events elaborate on this?
- jseliger 15y ago
  I can't speak to the alpha male problem in the online dating market, but lots of people writing about sexual dynamics and marketplaces have noticed it (see, for a popular account, Neil Strauss's The Game; in academic land, The Evolutionary Biology of Human Female Sexuality doesn't use the term "alpha male" but describes how many women frequently glom onto a subset of males and pursue them). Think about it this way: there were probably a handful of guys at your high school or college (probably athletes, although they might've just been unusually social or skilled in some other field) who women disproportionately sought. Most of us have seen this on some level. They're the alpha males and that, in a nutshell, is the alpha male problem.
  - sokoloff 15y ago
    There were also a handful of women at my high school and again at my college who men disproportionately sought. I'm not sure I see that this is a one-way issue.
deleted 15y ago
[deleted]
CJM13 15y ago
Thanks a lot, certainly more helpful than a best of luck wish. 1) What we're doing really isn't any different at all than people just going to events with friends and then meeting potential friends to date. We want to replicate the way dating works in the real world online. So we are providing an online platform to generate more of these interactions. There is certainly the recognition that people are looking for dates so that changes things a bit. 2)Users will be able to search for dates for themselves or set their friends up on dates as a matchmaker. We're coming up with ways to incentivize the matchmakers but for the meantime are hoping users will find the experience of matchmaking fun. There is concern that the matchmaker will be put in an awkward situation if the date does not go well for their friend, but that really isn't any different than setting someone up offline. 3)There is no cost to businesses to use TLF. We help businesses solve the "butts in seats" problem so they are happy to work with us to arrange a deal that allows us to have users prepay for their dates. 4)We are starting with singles events. 5)We completely agree. Our focus is on the offline interaction between users. Our site will only serve as a means for quickly setting up a shared experience offline. We are actively looking for a woman to bring on board! When developing the concept we gathered feedback from as many of our girlfriends as we could. P.S. Although we may be two college guys who read HN we'd like to think we have a decent understanding of the fairer sex. Thanks again!
JoachimSchipper 15y ago
This should not be [dead]: CJM13 11 minutes ago Thanks a lot, certainly more helpful than a best of luck wish. 1) What we're doing really isn't any different at all than people just going to events with friends and then meeting potential friends to date. We want to replicate the way dating works in the real world online. So we are providing an online platform to generate more of these interactions. There is certainly the recognition that people are looking for dates so that changes things a bit. 2)Users will be able to search for dates for themselves or set their friends up on dates as a matchmaker. We're coming up with ways to incentivize the matchmakers but for the meantime are hoping users will find the experience of matchmaking fun. There is concern that the matchmaker will be put in an awkward situation if the date does not go well for their friend, but that really isn't any different than setting someone up offline. 3)There is no cost to businesses to use TLF. We help businesses solve the "butts in seats" problem so they are happy to work with us to arrange a deal that allows us to have users prepay for their dates. 4)We are starting with singles events. 5)We completely agree. Our focus is on the offline interaction between users. Our site will only serve as a means for quickly setting up a shared experience offline. We are actively looking for a woman to bring on board! When developing the concept we gathered feedback from as many of our girlfriends as we could. P.S. Although we may be two college guys who read HN we'd like to think we have a decent understanding of the fairer sex. Thanks again!
- bootload 15y ago
  "... We want to replicate the way dating works in the real world online. ..." Isn't the real world process broken? Are you taking into account "Gutentag Secord theory?" [0] "... the non-committers are out there in growing force. If dating and mating is in fact a marketplace—and of course it is—today we’re contending with a new “dating gap,” where marriage-minded women are increasingly confronted with either deadbeats or players. ..." [1] Are you trying to solve this problem? [0] Marcia Guttentag, Paul F.Secord ~ http://www.amazon.com/Too-Many-Women-Ratio-Question/dp/0803919190 http://www.amazon.com/Too-Many-Women-Ratio-Question/dp/08039... [1] Atlantic, Kate Bolick, "All the Single Ladies" ~ http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-single-ladies/8654/3/ http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-...

ceol 15y ago

>we'll see an "alpha male" problem where a handful of males will be desired. The betas will drop out and more importantly many women will be turned off by the competition for a few men. I've never heard of this "alpha male problem"; I've only heard stories of there being too few women. Could any frequenter of singles events elaborate on this?

jseliger 15y ago
I can't speak to the alpha male problem in the online dating market, but lots of people writing about sexual dynamics and marketplaces have noticed it (see, for a popular account, Neil Strauss's The Game; in academic land, The Evolutionary Biology of Human Female Sexuality doesn't use the term "alpha male" but describes how many women frequently glom onto a subset of males and pursue them). Think about it this way: there were probably a handful of guys at your high school or college (probably athletes, although they might've just been unusually social or skilled in some other field) who women disproportionately sought. Most of us have seen this on some level. They're the alpha males and that, in a nutshell, is the alpha male problem.
- sokoloff 15y ago
  There were also a handful of women at my high school and again at my college who men disproportionately sought. I'm not sure I see that this is a one-way issue.

deleted 15y ago

[deleted]

CJM13 15y ago

Thanks a lot, certainly more helpful than a best of luck wish. 1) What we're doing really isn't any different at all than people just going to events with friends and then meeting potential friends to date. We want to replicate the way dating works in the real world online. So we are providing an online platform to generate more of these interactions. There is certainly the recognition that people are looking for dates so that changes things a bit. 2)Users will be able to search for dates for themselves or set their friends up on dates as a matchmaker. We're coming up with ways to incentivize the matchmakers but for the meantime are hoping users will find the experience of matchmaking fun. There is concern that the matchmaker will be put in an awkward situation if the date does not go well for their friend, but that really isn't any different than setting someone up offline. 3)There is no cost to businesses to use TLF. We help businesses solve the "butts in seats" problem so they are happy to work with us to arrange a deal that allows us to have users prepay for their dates. 4)We are starting with singles events. 5)We completely agree. Our focus is on the offline interaction between users. Our site will only serve as a means for quickly setting up a shared experience offline. We are actively looking for a woman to bring on board! When developing the concept we gathered feedback from as many of our girlfriends as we could. P.S. Although we may be two college guys who read HN we'd like to think we have a decent understanding of the fairer sex. Thanks again!

JoachimSchipper 15y ago

This should not be [dead]: CJM13 11 minutes ago Thanks a lot, certainly more helpful than a best of luck wish. 1) What we're doing really isn't any different at all than people just going to events with friends and then meeting potential friends to date. We want to replicate the way dating works in the real world online. So we are providing an online platform to generate more of these interactions. There is certainly the recognition that people are looking for dates so that changes things a bit. 2)Users will be able to search for dates for themselves or set their friends up on dates as a matchmaker. We're coming up with ways to incentivize the matchmakers but for the meantime are hoping users will find the experience of matchmaking fun. There is concern that the matchmaker will be put in an awkward situation if the date does not go well for their friend, but that really isn't any different than setting someone up offline. 3)There is no cost to businesses to use TLF. We help businesses solve the "butts in seats" problem so they are happy to work with us to arrange a deal that allows us to have users prepay for their dates. 4)We are starting with singles events. 5)We completely agree. Our focus is on the offline interaction between users. Our site will only serve as a means for quickly setting up a shared experience offline. We are actively looking for a woman to bring on board! When developing the concept we gathered feedback from as many of our girlfriends as we could. P.S. Although we may be two college guys who read HN we'd like to think we have a decent understanding of the fairer sex. Thanks again!

bootload 15y ago
"... We want to replicate the way dating works in the real world online. ..." Isn't the real world process broken? Are you taking into account "Gutentag Secord theory?" [0] "... the non-committers are out there in growing force. If dating and mating is in fact a marketplace—and of course it is—today we’re contending with a new “dating gap,” where marriage-minded women are increasingly confronted with either deadbeats or players. ..." [1] Are you trying to solve this problem? [0] Marcia Guttentag, Paul F.Secord ~ http://www.amazon.com/Too-Many-Women-Ratio-Question/dp/0803919190 http://www.amazon.com/Too-Many-Women-Ratio-Question/dp/08039... [1] Atlantic, Kate Bolick, "All the Single Ladies" ~ http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-single-ladies/8654/3/ http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-...