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How is one single kid cared by 2 adults so time consuming?

by freedom2099 4y ago

random42_ 4y ago
When they are born it’s really chaotic. All the stereotypes apply: sleepless nights, etc. after they grow, it gets easier. After my kid was past that phase it was really smooth. My wife and I got our hobbies, had time to do stuff we liked, etc. It all comes down do partnership. We had our second after our first was in his early teens and all the chaos is back and it’s a bit harder now because its 2 but we still manage to have our private time, although it’s been limited. tl;dr: it shouldn’t be time consuming.
tomp 4y ago
At first, kids need basically 100% attention & surveillance, except when they’re asleep. So between two people, one is occupied with a kids almost all the time.
- freedom2099 4y ago
  This is obvious untrue… unless parents are not entitled to sleep! Are parents not sleeping at all (aside from when they are woken up by a cry ofc)? Newborns can’t even move from where they are!
  - tomp 4y ago
    I meant "almost all the time except when they're asleep". Fortunately newborns sleep a lot but they also feed every 4 hours (if you're lucky) so whatever sleep you're getting isn't "quality sleep" because of interruptions. > Newborns can’t even move from where they are! You're right, I was implicitly assuming that you wouldn't leave the baby to just cry because that just sounds cruel to me.
    - freedom2099 4y ago
      On the other hand also running every times it cries it might be wrong (there are studies on this regard)
      - tomp 4y ago
        Can you send me any such studies?
        freedom2099 4y ago
        https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/new-study-says-okay-let-babies-cry-night-201605319774 https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/new-study-says-okay-let-...
        tomp 4y ago
        > Researchers from Australia worked with families who said that their babies (ages 6-16 months) had a sleep problem. Quite a big caveat here. I’d never let my 1 week or 1 month baby cry at night (or during the day) and in any case, he started sleeping well without any sleep training.
        freedom2099 4y ago
        I do agree that 1 week or 1 month old is a completely different matter… But having less time for yourself for 3/4 months doesn’t seem a tragedy to me!
Yhippa 4y ago
It's amazing how it happens. I think it comes down to someone has to keep an eye on the kid at all times until it gets to a certain age and you generally trust the kid. It's unfair for one parent to keep an eye all the time so there's a lot of unscheduled switching off.

How is one single kid cared by 2 adults so time consuming?

When they are born it’s really chaotic. All the stereotypes apply: sleepless nights, etc. after they grow, it gets easier. After my kid was past that phase it was really smooth. My wife and I got our hobbies, had time to do stuff we liked, etc. It all comes down do partnership. We had our second after our first was in his early teens and all the chaos is back and it’s a bit harder now because its 2 but we still manage to have our private time, although it’s been limited. tl;dr: it shouldn’t be time consuming.

tomp 4y ago

At first, kids need basically 100% attention & surveillance, except when they’re asleep. So between two people, one is occupied with a kids almost all the time.

freedom2099 4y ago
This is obvious untrue… unless parents are not entitled to sleep! Are parents not sleeping at all (aside from when they are woken up by a cry ofc)? Newborns can’t even move from where they are!
- tomp 4y ago
  I meant "almost all the time except when they're asleep". Fortunately newborns sleep a lot but they also feed every 4 hours (if you're lucky) so whatever sleep you're getting isn't "quality sleep" because of interruptions. > Newborns can’t even move from where they are! You're right, I was implicitly assuming that you wouldn't leave the baby to just cry because that just sounds cruel to me.
  - freedom2099 4y ago
    On the other hand also running every times it cries it might be wrong (there are studies on this regard)
    - tomp 4y ago
      Can you send me any such studies?
      - freedom2099 4y ago
        https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/new-study-says-okay-let-babies-cry-night-201605319774 https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/new-study-says-okay-let-...
        tomp 4y ago
        > Researchers from Australia worked with families who said that their babies (ages 6-16 months) had a sleep problem. Quite a big caveat here. I’d never let my 1 week or 1 month baby cry at night (or during the day) and in any case, he started sleeping well without any sleep training.
        freedom2099 4y ago
        I do agree that 1 week or 1 month old is a completely different matter… But having less time for yourself for 3/4 months doesn’t seem a tragedy to me!

Yhippa 4y ago

It's amazing how it happens. I think it comes down to someone has to keep an eye on the kid at all times until it gets to a certain age and you generally trust the kid. It's unfair for one parent to keep an eye all the time so there's a lot of unscheduled switching off.