3 ms·

> The problem, as always, is there will always, always be more men seeking women. i don't think this is the case, exactly. after talking to people about it, t

by noodle 15y ago

> The problem, as always, is there will always, always be more men seeking women. i don't think this is the case, exactly. after talking to people about it, the issue seems to be that men are just more aggressive about it, which turns away a significant segment of women. the women are out there, some just don't like putting up with the crap they get on dating sites.

michaelchisari 15y ago
the issue seems to be that men are just more aggressive about it If that's the case, then it would be interesting if a site like OKCupid had a limit on the number of emails per day a straight guy could send to a straight woman. Say, only one every few days. That would require male users to think very carefully about who they email. It's an arbitrary thing, but it would be interesting to see how the dynamic changes.
- noodle 15y ago
  agreed. i've always thought that an interesting idea to try would be to create a (mostly) zero sum dating system where you have to respond to people in order to initiate conversations with others. it de-incentivizes sending rapid-fire copy/pasted messages as well as completely ignoring messages. levels things out a bit.
  - michaelchisari 15y ago
    That kind of reminds me of Slashdot's Karma system. I think it would work, I think the concept would have to be weighted towards dating, but not 100% a dating site. Something that's as much about being social as it is finding a partner. So maybe encourage people to email people they find interested on a "just-friends" basis. Maybe instead of marking your profile with your intentions, you mark each individual email, ie, "New Friends", "Short-Term Dating", "Activity Partner". I'm just spitballing here.
- uses 15y ago
  I suspect the effect of this is that the most attractive 10% of female users would get an even higher percentage of all male-to-female messages.
  - BadCookie 15y ago
    Maybe at first, but wouldn't that fix itself over time as the less attractive men realized that they were getting no responses?

by noodle 15y ago

michaelchisari 15y ago

the issue seems to be that men are just more aggressive about it If that's the case, then it would be interesting if a site like OKCupid had a limit on the number of emails per day a straight guy could send to a straight woman. Say, only one every few days. That would require male users to think very carefully about who they email. It's an arbitrary thing, but it would be interesting to see how the dynamic changes.

noodle 15y ago
agreed. i've always thought that an interesting idea to try would be to create a (mostly) zero sum dating system where you have to respond to people in order to initiate conversations with others. it de-incentivizes sending rapid-fire copy/pasted messages as well as completely ignoring messages. levels things out a bit.
- michaelchisari 15y ago
  That kind of reminds me of Slashdot's Karma system. I think it would work, I think the concept would have to be weighted towards dating, but not 100% a dating site. Something that's as much about being social as it is finding a partner. So maybe encourage people to email people they find interested on a "just-friends" basis. Maybe instead of marking your profile with your intentions, you mark each individual email, ie, "New Friends", "Short-Term Dating", "Activity Partner". I'm just spitballing here.
uses 15y ago
I suspect the effect of this is that the most attractive 10% of female users would get an even higher percentage of all male-to-female messages.
- BadCookie 15y ago
  Maybe at first, but wouldn't that fix itself over time as the less attractive men realized that they were getting no responses?