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> Also having children changes things quite a bit for all adults. > I wish this article was longer. Agree on both accounts. To the first point, I had a lot of

• burntoutfire 4y ago
  Did you expect more free time? Judging by the parents I know, 2 hours of free time for yourself every day is not bad.
  • oweiler 4y ago
    The problem is not having two hours of spare time, it's that you feel so drained at the end of the day that you don't have the energy left to to anything meaningful.
    • TimPC 4y ago
      For a long time for me the problem wasn’t the amount of time for myself so much as that it wasn’t blockable time. 15 minutes 8 times a day is very different from one two-hour chunk.
      • Cerium 4y ago
        I used to wonder why many older people in the office would find a productive use of the 10 minutes between meetings while younger people would just grab a drink or get distracted. Now I'm a parent and I have learned that you can do something in 10 minutes.
        • TimPC 4y ago
          You can certainly do many things in 15 minutes but for most hobbies, partaking in that hobby requires a longer block of time.
  • HWR_14 4y ago
    > 2 hours of free time for yourself every day is not bad. Two hours of free time to yourself is horrible. The fact that it's expected doesn't change that it's a horrible answer. We need to reduce the amount of time we spend at work. Ironically, the best way to do that is to spend your early years working 24/7 to try to get wealthy enough that you can spend 4 hours a day doing meaningful work.
    • BeetleB 4y ago
      Two hours of free uninterrupted time is actually pretty good. One can accomplish fairly significant things with that if they're disciplined and don't spend that time goofing off. I doubt most parents get two hours of free time though.
      • HWR_14 4y ago
        Spending time "goofing off" is invaluable. People need time for that too. There's no point in being mindlessly productive at all times.
        • BeetleB 4y ago
          Two hours a day gives you plenty of time to goof off during the week. If you need to goof off every day then you are likely compensating for things that should be addressed. Saying as someone whose been there
          • HWR_14 4y ago
            Maybe you are using "goof off" differently than I am, but I see no reason not to goof off every day. But you actually said "2 hours is plenty to get stuff done if you don't goof off". Now you're changing it to "2 hours a day gives you plenty of time to goof off."
            • BeetleB 4y ago
              You misinterpret. 2 hours a day is 14 hours a week. What I'm saying is that goofing off for 2-4 hours a week still gives you 10-12 hours a week to get a lot done. But if you need to goof off for an hour per day (as many do feel they need to), then there are likely underlying reasons - problems in your life causing distraction, procrastination, etc. If you can address those reasons, you'll get more time to do fun work. The book The Now Habit addresses similar themes.
  • DannyBee 4y ago
    For a lot of people (IMHO), it's one of those "walking the path is different than knowing the path" kind of things. 2 hours also seems like a lot more than it is, in part because people severely underestimate how much "free" time they had before. For example, they think they are working from 9-5, but really, most people do lots of little things during that time - browse reddit, whatever. That time also now can get eaten by kid stuff - scheduling, signups, etc, especially if you have 2+ kids. It's also rare that it's a single block of 2 hours.
  • Yhippa 4y ago
    I didn't expect more free time. I will say that a lot of people told me what it would be like but it was hard for me to believe how hard it is to be a new parent until it actually happens.
• oweiler 4y ago
  Honestly I'm glad I'm not the only one. With one kid it was still possible to have some hobbies but with two it became almost impossible.
• freedom2099 4y ago
  How is one single kid cared by 2 adults so time consuming?
  • random42_ 4y ago
    When they are born it’s really chaotic. All the stereotypes apply: sleepless nights, etc. after they grow, it gets easier. After my kid was past that phase it was really smooth. My wife and I got our hobbies, had time to do stuff we liked, etc. It all comes down do partnership. We had our second after our first was in his early teens and all the chaos is back and it’s a bit harder now because its 2 but we still manage to have our private time, although it’s been limited. tl;dr: it shouldn’t be time consuming.
  • tomp 4y ago
    At first, kids need basically 100% attention & surveillance, except when they’re asleep. So between two people, one is occupied with a kids almost all the time.
    • freedom2099 4y ago
      This is obvious untrue… unless parents are not entitled to sleep! Are parents not sleeping at all (aside from when they are woken up by a cry ofc)? Newborns can’t even move from where they are!
      • tomp 4y ago
        I meant "almost all the time except when they're asleep". Fortunately newborns sleep a lot but they also feed every 4 hours (if you're lucky) so whatever sleep you're getting isn't "quality sleep" because of interruptions. > Newborns can’t even move from where they are! You're right, I was implicitly assuming that you wouldn't leave the baby to just cry because that just sounds cruel to me.
        • freedom2099 4y ago
          On the other hand also running every times it cries it might be wrong (there are studies on this regard)