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> This seems to preemptively foreclose interest in any kind of initial conversation or meeting anyone where they are. Everyone wants us to meet people where th

> This seems to preemptively foreclose interest in any kind of initial conversation or meeting anyone where they are. Everyone wants us to meet people where they are, yet no one wants to meet people where we are. You see, if you do not understand what we are going through, you can not meet us where we are. It is hard, maybe impossible, for you to meet us where we are, harder than it is for us to meet you where you are. I would no doubt be able to talk with this man and we would know where we both are. I volunteer, but that does not do anything. Yeah, it helps others, but it does not help others meet me where I am. It is like you are telling Aurê that he has to meet everyone where they are. (If you think I am being condescending writing this then that proves you cannot meet where I am.)

noduerme 4y ago
I don't think it's condescending, I just think if you find yourself in a situation where you actually need to work with other people, it becomes impossible to view them as one-dimensional checklists. Maybe they don't like you or you don't like them, but you can no longer simplify each other so easily. And maybe in the end you think that wasn't worth it, but you still take something from the interaction. For the record, I'm not telling you what to do or how you should feel about people. I've spent so many years in roles facing groups of people that, at times I love them and at other times I want to kill them. That's just how it goes. Hell is other people, said Sartre. Of course he also meant that being abandoned by them is hell, too. I'm not trying to be opaque here. I'll say what I meant more plainly: If you have any humility or self-awareness, you will realize that nothing, absolutely nothing you are experiencing has not been experienced before. You are entirely unique, but your reactions to the world are not, and there's a great deal to be learned about how to be okay in the world which other people will be happy to show you if you don't deny your commonality with them.
- FollowingTheDao 4y ago
  > you find yourself in a situation where you actually need to work with other people, How can I get this across to you. I work with people all the time. What I am saying is that they do not work with me. There is nothing I can do to change that and it is lonely. When I talk about the things I want to talk about after listening to them for hours I get strange looks and they change the conversation. This does not happen with everyone, but it happens with the majority of people I meet. How does someone who sees the ultra violet spectrum of light share that experience to someone who does not? For a white European I know I am neurologically genetically different than most. (Yes, I know my genetics). This has caused me to express a bipolar schizoaffective phenotype every know and them, but ordinarily it makes me different. So even coming here of Hacker News, most every thing I say gets downvoted before people even ask me why I think the way I do. But you know, it is so easy to get up votes here, just submit a post about ADHD. ;) So like I said, I can meet people where they are, but I do no think people want to try to meet me where I am since they can just quickly find someone else like them in the world.

noduerme 4y ago

I don't think it's condescending, I just think if you find yourself in a situation where you actually need to work with other people, it becomes impossible to view them as one-dimensional checklists. Maybe they don't like you or you don't like them, but you can no longer simplify each other so easily. And maybe in the end you think that wasn't worth it, but you still take something from the interaction. For the record, I'm not telling you what to do or how you should feel about people. I've spent so many years in roles facing groups of people that, at times I love them and at other times I want to kill them. That's just how it goes. Hell is other people, said Sartre. Of course he also meant that being abandoned by them is hell, too. I'm not trying to be opaque here. I'll say what I meant more plainly: If you have any humility or self-awareness, you will realize that nothing, absolutely nothing you are experiencing has not been experienced before. You are entirely unique, but your reactions to the world are not, and there's a great deal to be learned about how to be okay in the world which other people will be happy to show you if you don't deny your commonality with them.

FollowingTheDao 4y ago
> you find yourself in a situation where you actually need to work with other people, How can I get this across to you. I work with people all the time. What I am saying is that they do not work with me. There is nothing I can do to change that and it is lonely. When I talk about the things I want to talk about after listening to them for hours I get strange looks and they change the conversation. This does not happen with everyone, but it happens with the majority of people I meet. How does someone who sees the ultra violet spectrum of light share that experience to someone who does not? For a white European I know I am neurologically genetically different than most. (Yes, I know my genetics). This has caused me to express a bipolar schizoaffective phenotype every know and them, but ordinarily it makes me different. So even coming here of Hacker News, most every thing I say gets downvoted before people even ask me why I think the way I do. But you know, it is so easy to get up votes here, just submit a post about ADHD. ;) So like I said, I can meet people where they are, but I do no think people want to try to meet me where I am since they can just quickly find someone else like them in the world.