There's a lot going on here, and I'm sure a lot of people have this problem. When I was growing up guys would talk like this in high school, and it was sort of

There's a lot going on here, and I'm sure a lot of people have this problem. When I was growing up guys would talk like this in high school, and it was sort of understood that it's normal and they'd grow out of it. Except I don't think anyone ever actually did. What grew instead was the rate of suicides, chronic loneliness, drug abuse, and homelessness. All of our social ills have led to a kind of perfect storm of alienation and pacification to the point that people are so crestfallen that they don't even want to try to fix it. They'd rather bury their heads and try to live some semblance of a fulfilling life without dealing with the problem. I actually see this everywhere now and felt it myself in a lot of ways. Everyone just sort of bottles it all up, explodes periodically, then tries to continue doing the same thing. In the absence of appropriate help and support, what else can anyone really do? It's hard to feel connection with others when you're in a quagmire that no one seems to notice. It boils down to pure alienation. Someone recently opened my eyes to how we should go about connecting with others: we all seem to be waiting for someone to "get" us, and free us from whatever we think is holding us back. Many people feel themselves to be martyrs for their own cause, like the author of this blog post. They have pride and blame others for the lack of meaningful connection, holding onto their principles that they believe are important for creating said connection. The problem is that "psycho-social" healing, that is: fixing problems we have socially that are hurting us psychologically, and vice-versa, is only possible through social interaction. Some sort of compromise must be made. Psychologists tout the best way to help someone, whether they are shy, traumatized, or lonely, is to be there with them during a moment and be open towards them. In fact, you don't even really need to talk to them. Why do you think people love dogs so much? As stupid as it may sound, trying to be like a dog around others when you notice that disconnect might be helpful. Perk up your ears and observe, without negative judgment. You don't have to tire yourself out trying to entertain, you don't have to let people cross your boundaries, you don't have to say anything in particular. Your own inadequacies aren't important, except that you need to be able to let go of negative connotations towards the other for that moment (whether you thought of them yourself or absorbed through osmosis). The worst thing that can happen is that someone accuses you of being a furry enthusiast, or you accidentally find something interesting about someone other than yourself. "Going your own way" is a sure-fire way to get hit by the brunt of whatever bad thing may be coming. From a purely problem-solving perspective: we know this is a widespread problem. We also know that alienation isn't the normal mode for human life, since we are social animals and built to rely on each other, so that means that unless all 8 billion of us are fundamentally broken and unfixable, we can find whatever is the opposite of alienation. All other societal problems are downstream from that, in my opinion. People with strong connections and high morale - the will to live - face insurmountable odds and somehow prevail. It's practically a law of human nature.