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I'm doing what I love buzzed right now, building a cluster for my homelab, creating a hybrid cloud solution to host some services and saving on money by leverag

I'm doing what I love buzzed right now, building a cluster for my homelab, creating a hybrid cloud solution to host some services and saving on money by leveraging cheap compute at home. But yes, Randy Marsh was absolutely right. I've had periods of my life where I've abused it and I regret every one of those days.

hirvi74 4y ago
> I've had periods of my life where I've abused it and I regret every one of those days. I think I am starting to wake up to this. I do find enjoyment in it, and there is such a sunk cost fallacy I keep factoring in too. I mean do I take occasional breaks, but probably not enough. It had definitely helped me lower my inhibitions enough to introspectively identity some issues that were deeply hidden under the surface of my everyday life. However, it's killed my motivation and in some ways it's starting to negatively affect other areas of my life. Regardless of my dependence, I am thankful to not feel clinically addicted or anything. I will say, it wasn't my first choice of treatment. I tried the mental/medical health professional route. I'm still on that train, and it's been 8 years. Nothing has really improved, so I am not sure what else to do and where else to go. I adopted cannabis around the age of 29 with very limited experience prior. The kind I use is not like the variety in this article either. I use 1:1 THC:CBD hemp because high thc products are illegal in my area. So maybe the damage isn't "as bad." If all the medical/mental health treatments I tried work as well as the medical research and doctors claim then I probably wouldn't have ever began to use cannabis in the first place. But like I said, what else am I to do? It's exhausting and stressful trying to force yourself to be a way your body naturally fights against. It's apparent that I cannot function well without some sort of chemical assistance. I guess the only difference is where I get it from (doctor vs. plant), the side-effects, and the societal views that accompany said chemicals.
- INTPenis 4y ago
  The way I see it, throughout history I'm sure millions of people have just gone crazy by the everyday burdens of life. We might have more availability to forms of therapy but in the end it's up to you to balance your life. Soul controller.
  - hirvi74 4y ago
    That is something I have been slowly starting to realize. I lack ambition and without ambition I have nothing to work towards, which in turn makes finding a balance difficult. I've been trying to do some soul searching to find out what I truly want, but I've chalked it up to, "I'll know it when I see it." And till then, I must keep searching.

hirvi74 4y ago

> I've had periods of my life where I've abused it and I regret every one of those days. I think I am starting to wake up to this. I do find enjoyment in it, and there is such a sunk cost fallacy I keep factoring in too. I mean do I take occasional breaks, but probably not enough. It had definitely helped me lower my inhibitions enough to introspectively identity some issues that were deeply hidden under the surface of my everyday life. However, it's killed my motivation and in some ways it's starting to negatively affect other areas of my life. Regardless of my dependence, I am thankful to not feel clinically addicted or anything. I will say, it wasn't my first choice of treatment. I tried the mental/medical health professional route. I'm still on that train, and it's been 8 years. Nothing has really improved, so I am not sure what else to do and where else to go. I adopted cannabis around the age of 29 with very limited experience prior. The kind I use is not like the variety in this article either. I use 1:1 THC:CBD hemp because high thc products are illegal in my area. So maybe the damage isn't "as bad." If all the medical/mental health treatments I tried work as well as the medical research and doctors claim then I probably wouldn't have ever began to use cannabis in the first place. But like I said, what else am I to do? It's exhausting and stressful trying to force yourself to be a way your body naturally fights against. It's apparent that I cannot function well without some sort of chemical assistance. I guess the only difference is where I get it from (doctor vs. plant), the side-effects, and the societal views that accompany said chemicals.

INTPenis 4y ago
The way I see it, throughout history I'm sure millions of people have just gone crazy by the everyday burdens of life. We might have more availability to forms of therapy but in the end it's up to you to balance your life. Soul controller.
- hirvi74 4y ago
  That is something I have been slowly starting to realize. I lack ambition and without ambition I have nothing to work towards, which in turn makes finding a balance difficult. I've been trying to do some soul searching to find out what I truly want, but I've chalked it up to, "I'll know it when I see it." And till then, I must keep searching.